Offering gifts to the teachers

Discussion in Gifts & Flowers started by Gelsemium • Jun 4, 2014.

  1. Gelsemium

    GelsemiumWell-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2014
    Threads:
    367
    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    49
    When my kids were younger we had the habit to offer their teachers a small gift in Christmas and when the school year is over, a chocolate or a perfume or something like that. We sort of lost the habit because it turned out to be somewhat expensive (teachers and auxiliary staff), but this year all the dads organized themselves and offered one single gift and that is much better. Do you also offer gifts to the teachers or not really?
     
  2. forextraspecialstuff

    forextraspecialstuffActive Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2014
    Threads:
    9
    Messages:
    613
    Likes Received:
    8
    I do not have school age children so I cannot comment from personal experience, but from what I have heard my friends say it appears as though this practice slowly went out of style. I think the cost and the number of people to buy for became too high for most people. When I was in elementary school, about 20 years ago, I remember we would give our teachers gifts often, even May day.
     
  3. Gelsemium

    GelsemiumWell-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2014
    Threads:
    367
    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    49
    What do you mean by May day forex?

    Yes, I notice that too, I mean, when my kids were in kindergarten, up from four months old, we used to give gifts both to teachers and auxiliary staff, but they grow up and things become more impersonal and it ceases making sense to offer a gift to someone we barely talk to. A gift from all the parents seems something nice though.
     
  4. wander_n_wonder

    wander_n_wonderActive Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2014
    Threads:
    0
    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    10
    I try to be careful with that, especially if the school has a policy that says gifts are not allowed because it could be a form of bribery. I would probably just do that with teachers who are very close to us. Otherwise, I think it's perfectly not ok to give gifts.

    Also, if I would have to give a gift, I try to make it a bit more professional. For example, instead of giving personal items like clothes or perfume, I would rather give a book or a decor with inspirational message. This way, the gift giving becomes much more objective and it does not appear to be too personal to be considered a bribery.
     
  5. Denis Hard

    Denis HardWell-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2013
    Threads:
    991
    Messages:
    4,335
    Likes Received:
    790
    I wouldn't buy a gift for any teacher because they don't work for charity. To be honest, I don't like teachers, never did and never will. So even if friends were to try to get me to give a little so they can buy the entire staff a gift, I wouldn't give a penny.

    I'm against offering gifts to teachers because once they get into the habit of expecting something from parents, when they don't get it eventually they'll probably get disillusioned and stop working as hard as they did previously.
     
  6. Gelsemium

    GelsemiumWell-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2014
    Threads:
    367
    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    49
    That is true, they don't work for charity, but they do deal with our kids daily and they are part of our day to day for a few years, so nothing like having a good relation with them because at the end of the day that can make a difference between they making an extra effort for our kid and not doing that extra effort. It's not exactly a bribe lol, but something like that... ;)
     
  7. deansaliba

    deansalibaActive Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2012
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    816
    Likes Received:
    29
    If you did this kind of thing when I was a kid you would b bullied until the day you left school and branded a 'teacher's pet'. Today it doesn't happen in this country because teacher's are not allowed ot interact with children like they used to in my day, they are not even allowed to console a crying child! They must leave the poor thing to cry alone!
     
  8. whnuien

    whnuienActive Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2014
    Threads:
    37
    Messages:
    456
    Likes Received:
    4
    I've never seen parents giving gifts to teachers when I was still at school. My parents never did either. So I have no experience in this kind of thing. Now that I have my own child, I'm not sure if I would ever give a teacher a gift unless I know that person very well and on special occasion.
     
  9. Gelsemium

    GelsemiumWell-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2014
    Threads:
    367
    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    49
    Dean, my kid doesn't take gifts, we parents give them, but funny that you say that because if he did took a gift it would be well seen and not a reason for being bullied. He's just 7 so maybe the age factor also counts.

    whnuien, from what country are you? Maybe it's a cultural thing that doesn't happen in your country?
     
  10. Allison2021

    Allison2021Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2014
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    194
    Likes Received:
    4
    I am a former public school teacher. Gifts are not necessary to demonstrate appreciation; although, we love receiving little treats.
    We mostly want and ache for PARENTAL SUPPORT of your child's learning. Please, send your child to school prepared to learn. They should have had 9 hours of sleep. They should have had a nutritious dinner the previous night, and breakfast that day. They should not be sleepy or hungry upon entering school. They should have completed their practice homework the previous night, and hand it in the next morning. They should be happy to enter school, and sit waiting for instruction. They should move around the classroom appropriately during group time. They should not viciously tease or bully other students. If the doctor prescribed medicine, then they should have taken it on time. Most importantly show your students love and support. Those are most if not all the gifts teachers want from parents.

    Gelsemium wrote, "... but this year all the dads organized themselves and offered one single gift and that is much better. Do you also offer gifts to the teachers or not really?" What did you guys buy for those teachers?
     
  11. 003

    003Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2014
    Threads:
    174
    Messages:
    1,148
    Likes Received:
    36
    No, I am not really into giving gifts to teachers to avoid conflicts. I feel really uncomfortable doing so. I feel like though I don't really intend, that when I give gifts to teachers, they are expected to return a favor to you. And I just don't like that. I could give them, but not during the term where my kid is under their supervision, maybe some other terms.
     
  12. DrRipley

    DrRipleyExpert

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2012
    Threads:
    740
    Messages:
    4,313
    Likes Received:
    315
    We used to do this, but eventually it was disallowed by the school because it risked putting some of the students more in favor by the teachers than others who might not give gifts or give less expensive ones. I tend to agree now that i'm older, as much as I dislike not being able to show more appreciation to those teachers who really do their job well, but I think it's only fair and even if I were the teacher, I think I would agree and be satisfied with even just a vocal expression of appreciation or a simple homemade card or letter.
     
  13. Gelsemium

    GelsemiumWell-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2014
    Threads:
    367
    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    49
    I have never heard of that before Ripley, the school disallowing the offer of gifts to the teachers... Something happened or the school simply decided it was a bad idea? I agree that it might generate some preferences, but teachers always have preferences regardless of offering gifts or not, so it's hard for me to get why a school would do that.
     
  14. Verity Darkwaters

    Verity DarkwatersActive Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2014
    Threads:
    19
    Messages:
    379
    Likes Received:
    24
    Yes, I always gave gifts to my teachers. They were never expensive or extravagant, but they were nice enough. However, I only did it for Christmas. I always thought it was a great idea, because teachers do work hard. We never bought something like perfume, or candies, or jewelry, but made our own game.

    We would take coffee mugs and put in: a packet of hot chocolate, a candy cane, a packet of peanut butter crackers, and a Hershey bar. It wasn't fancy, but most of them seemed very grateful.
     
  15. Gelsemium

    GelsemiumWell-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2014
    Threads:
    367
    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    49
    Those are another sort of gifts that the kids do, actually it's not a habit to do it here, we rather buy something symbolic, usually chocolates. This year my 7 year old took a gift to the teacher in the day she was sick and the director replaced her, so he gave the gift to the director instead lol, nothing to do, I hope the director liked it. :)
     
  16. sidney

    sidneyWell-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2012
    Threads:
    110
    Messages:
    5,621
    Likes Received:
    378
    No, I don't really give gifts to the teachers when I was in school. I never really thought of giving them gifts because I'm not close to them and I also don't want to suck up to them, lol. Even my parents never thought of giving gifts to my former teachers.
     
  17. May102014

    May102014Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2014
    Threads:
    37
    Messages:
    542
    Likes Received:
    38
    Wow. I never done this at all and neither have any of the other children's parents when I was growing up. That is such a nice gesture. I'm trying to think if there was one teacher I really liked in school. Hmm .... no. Sadly, in my town those types of gestures could be misinterpret for something else instead of it being completely innocent. I like the idea of giving a gift to a deserving teacher. They do so much to educate children and sometimes don't get enough praises for the work they do.
     
  18. Jessi

    Jessi<a href="http://www.quirkycookery.com">QuirkyCooke

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2012
    Threads:
    126
    Messages:
    2,256
    Likes Received:
    78
    We usually stick with class gifts, too. The parents all chip in and get a gift card or something. It's a nice way to say "thanks" without it ending up looking like bribery.
     
  19. Mayvin

    MayvinActive Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2013
    Threads:
    142
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    10
    When I was in school my mother would occasionally have me bring Christmas gifts to the teacher. Nothing extravagant but a nice gesture. If the teacher is doing a good job, I think there should be nothing wrong with showing a token of your appreciation as a parent. Being a good teacher I suspect is not an easy job and its important to keep the good ones around. They'll appreciate it and can help your child in the long run. I think its a good idea also to pool your money as parents and buy a really nice collective gift.
     
  20. Gelsemium

    GelsemiumWell-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2014
    Threads:
    367
    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    49
    This is not something that occupies my mind, but if we do like the teacher it's a good way to show appreciation, if the teacher does a good job it's always nice to put in a word or to offer a symbolic need, it's our kids they are dealing with daily after all right, our most precious things, so we should value them.