I love Christmas-time, the lights, the festiveness of the season, the crispness in the air, just the whole holiday vibe. I would love to buy a bunch of presents for my family members, friends, and even myself... I mean, if I had the money, I would totally buy my own self plenty of presents, wrap them--bow and all, and put them under my tree. But alas, barring a sudden financial windfall (one can hope), I won't have a lot of money for presents this year. A friend of mine is doing well financially, and I am happy for her. At times though, she likes to brag about how much money she spent for this, and how much money she spent for that. In my mind, I'm saying, "Dude, I really don't care about how much money you spent. Sometimes all you seem to talk about is money." Sometimes I want to tell her so bad out loud to "be quiet about the money already", but then again on the other hand, if I get in a financial bind and need to borrow some money, she'll give it to me, no problem. With all of her money-talk, is she bragging? Is she really just trying to motivate me to do better financially? Does anyone have people in their life that brag about money, and if you do, how do you handle it??
Oops, I meant to write... Do you have friends/family who brag about how much money THEY spend?? My first thread and I leave out a word in the title!!
I don't recall being engaged in such a conversation lately, but I do know some people who are arrogant. If I were you, just daydream while looking interested in what she's saying, at least you'll spare her feelings. And since she's well-off and can financially help you, NEVER get on her bad side, hehe. It's not worth it to lose financial assistance when you need it.
I've known some people who will only talk about money: How much they spent on A, B, C. How much they'll make from some business venture. How they are going to be very wealthy. How smart they are because they make and spend a lot of money. What they plan to do when they become millionaires. Lots of money talk which I find to be quite tiring. I'm not interested in how much money anyone spends or makes. It's their life, their money and they should keep it to themselves. She certainly is bragging. The question would be, why? The people I've known who talk about the money they spend grew up poor so them talking about money makes them believe that they've "made it."
It's my opinion that people who really have wealth don't feel the need to brag or discuss it. In fact, they tend to keep it to themselves because they don't want to be targets of robbery or theft. Als, who wants everyone asking you for money when the going gets tough? Bragging is a way to draw attention to oneself. Maybe this person is cash rich but actually in serious debt, and their anxiety makes them talk about their finances all the time to ease their guilt? For me, my mom is kind of like that. If I'm in a bind (or she thinks I am) she'll offer to lend me cash. Sometimes just gives me it. Then she'll use my time in debt to her as a platform to criticize all my financial habits and situations. Of course, I have to bite my tongue because she is lending me money. The irony is, she can't save one dollar! Any time she comes into some money, she spends it before the Month is over. She'll pretend lending money to me is the reason she's broke, but she would have found something else to spend that money on anyway. So I have a hard time taking her financial advice seriously. Bottom line, people have their insecurities. You'd be surprised to find some of the most successful people are struggling behind closed doors. And all the cash in the world can't buy you happiness or peace of mind. We just can't take things personal or compare our situations to these people who use money to mask their own insecurities.
Some people tend to blurt out their complaints unconsciously. Of course, no one asked her to spend that much money on various items. Maybe your friend's just a perfectionist who wants her surroundings to look sophisticated all the time, so she can't help but spend more than she intended. Real braggarts are similar to my office mate. She listens to you when you're conversing about stuff to another person. The next thing you know, she's mimicking your conversation and tries to one-up whatever you're talking about. For instance, we were talking about car models we'd like to buy in the future. She suddenly increased the volume of her voice and told her friend that her family's going to buy a new car right after our conversation transpired. There are also people who are simply confident about themselves that they're often mistaken for arrogant jerks.
Yeah, I kinda see your point here, but it almost makes me feel like the friendship is fake and phony if I am always silent about my real feelings just because she can give me money every now and then. Almost reminds me of not breaking up with a boyfriend because he's rich, lol, nevermind the fact that you really don't like him. Or like some 24 year old girl marrying an 80 year old man, we all know what she's there for.
I really like this reply, I wish I could give it two or three likes. When you wrote that you find money talk to be quite tiring, I appreciate that because I have been feeling some kind of way about all her money talk, but somehow the word "tiring" didn't come to me, but that is exactly what that feeling is. And when you say that she certainly is bragging, that strengthens my stance on it a bit, because I kind of try to give her the benefit of the doubt, like "she's not a braggart, she's just happy about her money," all the while though, I feel an undercurrent of her trying to rub her "success" in my face. The thing is though, I really couldn't care less about the money that she makes. There was a time in my life-- just a very few years ago when I had a good deal of money, however through poor money management decisions, I didn't keep it long. Even when I had a lot of cash to spend, I didn't flaunt it, or brag about it ever. I don't worship money. However... I'll be the first to admit that she's not in a position where she is struggling financially like how my current situation is. My son told me that maybe if I thought about money as much as my friend does that I would not be in a position where I have to borrow money from her (and from other people).
I really like this reply blasian doll, although I have to say that you are "lucky" that your mom lends you money. I grew up with two moms, one that adopted me and raised me (my aunt by blood), and my birth mom. Neither one of them liked giving me money. And offering it, or just giving it?!! Girlfriend forget about it, ok? That just did not/does not happen in my world, lol. I don't think my friend is in debt, but I don't think that things are as lovely for her as she makes them out to be. I know that her marriage is a challenging one, although she seems to love the ground her husband walks on, but we all once lived in the same apartment complex, so I know that all that glitters is not gold when it comes to them. Still, she acts towards me like nothing else matters except for how much cash she's making. And loves to tell me all about it, and for me it's kind of like, "I love you, but I don't care about how much money you have honey. It doesn't phase me a bit. Even though I'm not "there" now, I grew up well off." The other day she and I kind of got into it because she was talking about how her son wants a computer for Christmas and how she was not going to buy it. My take on it was, "Buy it for him, it's Christmas. You've got the money." (She makes about 7 to 8 thousand dollars a month.) That turned in to a conversation with me kind of ranting about "it's only money". Some people get really offended when they hear that. Especially when you've borrowed money from them. My dad told me that "money makes the world go 'round" and that I'm way too flippant about it. He says that's why I'm always broke, and tells me about my bad financial decisions. My dad and your mom would probably get along great together, lol.
Well, being fake is ok as long as you don't backstab or betray them, to be honest. I have had a couple of people that befriended me that I so didn't like at all, but I went along with the flow because it would be meaner to show your dislike, right? So that is applicable in your situation. Besides, you like her as a person anyway, right, except for her "financial talk".
I was raised with the idea that you just never talk about money because it's rude and for a long time I lived up to that. I've found, though, that sometimes it's an appropriate subject, depending on who you're speaking with and how the subject comes about. And I've also noticed that there are subtle differences in the way people talk about money and how much they've spent on one thing or another--or "everything" sometimes. There are some people who can say the same things quite nearly word for word as someone who brags and not come off as bragging at all. I guess it all just depends.
Yeah, my auntie Veronica is always telling everyone how much money she has lol. I am happy for her, but she doesn't actually spend it?? She is one of the tightest - if not the tightest - people that I have ever met. She used to work two jobs, but only works one now and even when it comes to her two children - because she has two young boys, who are going to need and want things such as toys and clothes - she will take hand-me-downs. I know that it is her money to spend however she wants, but she has no problem criticizing other members of the family for spending their money on things, just because she doesn't spend hers.
So Dreek, would it be right if I assume that she's a "bragging miser"? Lol. Where does she spend her money then if she's stingy?
Winnie wrote, "At times though, she likes to brag about how much money she spent for this, and how much money she spent for that." We all know of people who do nothing more than brag about money. Now, I smile and shake my head as I listen to them. I strongly believe those who brag about anything, and money in particular are overcompensating about something lacking in their lives. I once had a luncheon with a group of women who all have been working since college. We were all homeowners who were doing OK financially or economically. Yet, one woman constantly bragged about material goods and money. One lady asked how well each of us were doing with our retirement funds. Would you believe the one who bragged the most, and was all about keeping up with the pace of fashion was the one who had no retirement savings. I began to fully understand that she may have been bragging to over compensate for some feeling of fear/
Yes, I have a friend named Matt that is so fixed on living in a certain area of town he thinks is upper class. I went shopping with him this weekend out in this area (of course) and you would have thought we were on Rodeo drive the way he acted. the joke is he is young and still lives at home. I try not to burst his bubble but the final straw came when he insisted on driving through a neighborhood that had literal mansions. I tend to be a realist, don't get me wrong I would love to see him make it out there like that in his life. I just thing that there is a chance he could be setting himself up for a major disappointment if life don't turn out like that.
I have a friend who basically tells me that he's bought a few 100 dollar pair of pants on different occasions. It really makes me angry when he does that. I also used to have a friend who went to the mall every weekend and kept buying all of these 'meme' shirts. That angered me too, hahaha. I wish people didn't brag about spending their money on useless stuff. It really puts my trust of them when it comes to finance at a very low level.
I am afraid my friends are quite the opposite. Instead of talking about how much money we spent buying something, we talk about how little money we spent buying something. Spending a lot of money is no big deal. Getting something good while spending very little money is something to talk about. Like the time I bought a pair of original Levi's. I found it in a secondhand clothes stall. It was only 2.50usd. I wore it for many years and it looked better and better as time passed by. I can't say I really bragged about it but it was fun to see my friends' expressions when I told them the price I paid for it.
Luckily, none of my family members are actually like this. I had a couple of friends that use to always make a big deal about the job they had and how much it paid. Things like that would make anyone feel a little belittled, or at the very least wonder why they are bringing it up so often. I'm the type of person that will always congratulate someone on their accomplishments, or at the very least let them know that I am happy for them. So, I don't know if they wanted adulation or what.
Yeah I know of many people, family and friends, who brag about the money he/she spend, but they have every right to do so because I have every right to ignore them too! Personally, I don't care how much people say they spent for this or that, its their money and it wasn't spent toward benefiting me. I have to admit too, I do brag about what I spend at times too, but I do out of excitement for what I've bought, I don't do it to annoy or be arrogant.
Yes I do! I have a cousin who is a doctor and pretty well off, and she has been graduated for only a few years now and used to have a bad financial condition before being a doctor. Now that she can pay for expensive presents and things she is always bragging about what she got for our ants, grandma, her mom. And it's great that she is able to afford all of that but it makes me sad sometimes that she is able to buy presents so much more expensive than I can!
