I am not. Never really was. She left me to myself a lot growing up. Although I know she loves me and she was never abusive or bad, we just were never close. Now I have 4 kids. Call I ever wanted was to be close to them. But my 16 year old girl hates me. My boys act like it too. I've tried to be the opposite of my own mom. I'm very involved. I ask lots of questions. I have rules. I tell them I love the me every day. And still..., I hope one day we are close. I cherish my 5 year old, he still thinks I walk on water!!!
I was never close to my mom growing up. It wasn't her fault though, she tried to hard to be close to me. She also had loads of rules that I didn't want to follow so we had a lot of issues between us. Now that I'm an adult though we are extremely close! My daughter is 11 now and we are still as close as we have been since she was little. I'm not allowed to give her kisses anymore though and haven't been allowed to for a long time, but we talk about everything, we chill, have a good time. I'm the cool mom though so all the kids like to come to our house and hang out. Our old neighbor kids that we don't even live near anymore still come over when we throw little kid bashes and they are like 22 and 16 now!
Shana, that is awesome!!! I wish it was like that for my kids. I also love to have kids here... but my one son has behavioral issues and he's sort of ruined it.
We used to be close until she married someone I didn't like (and vice versa). Also, I was left alone quite a lot. She was a single parent before my step father, so had to work a lot and when she didn't I was out till the street lights came on lol. I think parenting back in the day was much less involved than it is today. My children and I have a very close bond. I've always taken into account my relationship with my own mother and I too did the opposite (not that I had to try). I always put myself in their shoes and I'm always fair. My youngest also had behavioural issues at one point (he has Autism), but once I stopped looking at it the way I was and knew that kids act out for a reason, not to tick everyone off.. things changed. It all boils down to respect I guess. Even my teenager respects me and still wants to hang out with Mum, which still surprises me every day.. I thought teens were supposed to hate their parents lol.
Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do as a parent or which approach you decide to adhere to the end result may be your child is not close to you. It could be because that child has a type of personality that is not warm and cuddly? My mother and I converse and maintain a relationship. My some of my siblings have a difficult relationship with her. I feel like it depends on who the individual is. No one is a perfect parent and some children see things in a darker light than others. Some love their father but dislike their mother and vice versa. If there was no outright mistreating of the child it seems to be a flip of the coin how we deal with them in adulthood.
I certainly feel what you're going through. My mother and I are extremely close now. When I was young, we were best friends, and then I went through my teenage years when I didn't want anything to do with her. How that must have hurt her I can only imagine! But my mother is a wonderful person, and has continued to love me in spite of all that I've put her through. Teenagers go through this phase. They look at their parents as the "enemy" because they want to keep them from hurt and harm. Then they go through the stage where they blame all of their own faults on their parents and how they were raised! Finally they come to the realization that their parents love them more than anybody on this earth and they will one day appreciate it!
My mother and I are close now but it was not that way growing up. It might have been because I spent more time with my grandma and not her. She was still pretty young so I understand she was trying to live her life. Her and my dad ended up getting a divorce and it was just a tough time for all of us. I think it may just be a phase that your kids are going through and I hope it works out for you.
Most boy actually is closer to their father and this includes me. I grow up with my mother but when my father came I end up going along with him even with the crimes we do lol. We go home late night having drinks in a bar and he even set me up with girls :d
No, I'm not close with my mom. She never really hugged me or told me that she loved me. I am very different from her and that puts a strain on our relationship. She is also very controlling person. I went away to college to get some breathing space. Now, we live in the same state, but I still think I need more breathing space. I feel as if she doesn't have a life outside of us kids. I decided not to have kids because I thought I might be the same type of mother. Now, I don't think I would have been like her, but I might have overcompensated and suffocated them with love. That's not necessarily a good thing either.
Growing up, I was not super close with my mom. We talked and got along, but I had to become very independent fairly quickly. She was a single mother working three jobs to support her family. So I understood, but life's difficulties made it hard for us to spend time together. We are much closer now. She is wise beyond her years. As far as my relationship with my 13 year old son, it is awesome. We love spending time together. We say I love you and give hugs. We talk about everything openly. He is a great kid!
My mother was abusive and I was never close to her. My 15 year old daughter and I are best friends and I'm closer to her than anyone else. Madonna was right when she said that having a child cancels out a bad childhood. I've experienced all the holidays and fun things with my daughter that I never got to do as a kid.
Every One Have own attachment. Somebody have a attachment mother while Somebody have attachment father. It depend upon the Situation, In Which conditions you grows.
All I can say is, I love my kids more than life itself, and I hope one day they realize that. I try to be close to them. That's the best I can do.
I'm not really close to my mom because there has been too much strife in the family. I don't like how she lies and manipulates everyone and then acts like she is so innocent. She acts like she can't do anything for herself because she wants us to pamper her because she's old. I don't actually have any kind thoughts about my mom. I think the only thing I will regret when she is gone is the fact that I was unable to tell her how I truly felt about her.
I grew up without a dad for he left us when I was just 7 years old. So, needless to say, I'm very close to my mom. It has always been us after his untimely death. I wouldn't be here where I am today without her.
I use to be but not anymore. Me and my mom always were close growing up but recently our relationship has died so not so much.
My mom was mostly negligent as a parent. She had no interest in raising kids. She could barely take care of herself. I consider myself to have been raised without help or guidance from my family. The only thing she provided was food and shelter and not much else. We are not close, anything I do for her these days is solely out of moral obligation.
I tend to do.the same with my mom. I only do things for her because she is my mom. I don't really want to do anything for her. Ever since my dad died she has started saying she didn't want to stay married to him. The only reason she stayed with him was because of us. That is not something you tell your kids.
I used to feel this way too.. and then parenthood just happened. We learn from their mistakes.. I think it actually makes us better parents; not the smothering type. Besides.. if you don't want to smother, you just won't lol, you don't become a mindless copy OR an obsessive mess.. there's a happy medium for those who learn from where they come from.
I am as close to my mom as I have never in my lifetime did to my dad. I just love her and feel that she is the only one who cares. She always welcome me back as lovely as she could anytime i go home besides providing me with anything she can afford to which have never seen with dad.
