My question seems oddly stated. Let me explain. Two years ago I made an online purchase which in turn resulted in a series of emails where the person in charge ended up becoming an email friend. I have enjoyed our interchanges because we both had a lot in common (the purchase was over antiques and so there was a lot to talk about). However, as of late the relationship has taken over with daily emails. I am trying to curve it by not replying right away but also do not want to offend. Have you ever started a relationship like that and find that it feels too late to stop it? If so, what did you do?
I have casually chatted with the sellers of the 2nd items that I buy from, but that's about it, it never really made us friends. Why would you want the relationship to stop if you're already good friends to begin with? Is it because you're still planning to do business with them in the future?
That has never happened to me but if you have no intention of buying any more stuff from the seller why not just 'filter' out their mail? That person's email gets sent straight to your trash folder and after a few days, it's permanently deleted. This would save you the need to ignore the emails because it could make you feel kind of guilty.
Thanks Sidney and Denis; both points are good ones. I don't need to make an online issue so dramatic. However, I did meet the person this year so now I feel like they have become more of a friend. I like the friendship but I can't keep up with a daily communication need. The sellers emails are very long and a little demanding. So I'm not sure if I can fulfill the need of the friendship on the other end. I have always had trouble with trying to become what the other person wants me to be and not really knowing what I want out of the relationship. I do not intend on buying anything in the future though, so this all seems to have been a weird way to develop a friendship. Maybe I just need to learn to set up boundaries better and then dwell within those.
Learning to take control of your emails takes time. I no longer reply straight away and rely when I can. People should understand you can't reply on the spot, in business is different, but socially one has to take control of these things. I know others may have more time, but you shouldn't feel bad. I met an old man on a flight and we struck up a friendship (he had a partner) and we met in London for dinner and he would call for a chat, but I didn't have time for random chats and to meet up all the time. So I let him down and eventually he stopped because I couldn't make plans as I was freelance, but kept in contact just with Christmas cards.
Ah I see. So the bonding has become more romantic now? Then long emails are indeed a hassle. Try to reply very short and straight to the point emails, so that he will take a hint that the conversation is becoming too lengthy for your taste.
Next time you reply, let the person know that you don't have time to keep up with the correspondence anymore. There is no reason why you should feel pressured to continue an online relationship you do not want. It isn't even a real friendship in my mind. If they persist and won't leave you alone, just don't even read their emails, never reply, they'll get the message that it is over soon enough.
Not the sort of post I normally contribute to, but I was intrigued by your question. I can in all honesty say that nothing like this has ever happened to me before. If it is making you uncomfortable, I would just stop responding.
I guess I'm not that friendly to actually convert a formal relationship into a less formal one, such as what happened in your case. If you have nothing more to say to the other person, then just be curt in your reply. It will be hard not to notice the change in tone. Maybe the person will take it as a cue and maintain a set distance. The other party may have harbored some hope that you want to get to know them better in person.
I sometimes make friends with my eBay buyers, but I've never emailed them daily. You don't have to reply to every one of their emails. Just reply when you have the time and don't feel obligated to send a super long message. It's nice to meet people online but it shouldn't feel like a job or make you feel burdened.
A couple of years ago I had commented on a girl's picture on Facebook, then we started to talk via direct message. We followed each other on Twitter soon after, and the conversations continued (and sometimes went on for days). Then we started Skping and I still thought nothing off it. She lived in Germany and would stay up late until I got home from school (which was about 4-5pm in America) and we would Skype until one of us fell asleep (it would usually be her). I ended up moving and we kind of lost contact but she still favorites and retweets some of my tweets here and there, so I guess it's good to know that she's well.
