Hoarding, is shopping or self control the problem?

Sometimes, hoarding is a throwback to less affluent times. My husband was brought up during the war years, when supplies were restricted, and everyone had to 'make do and mend.' He's 78 now, but it's still a real job to get him to throw anything away, because as far as he's concerned, it could come in useful sometime soon. People hoard for different reasons - not all of them concerned with lack of control or issues of self-esteem.

 

There are memories attached to everything in their house, and they're scared to let them go. I guess in their mind if they let go of these items they'll forget. It's understandable, but I don't think you can hang on to physical memories. There comes a time in your life when you have to part with materialistic things in your home. After all you can't take these items when you die, so I really don't see the point in keeping them around. I watch Hording on TLC and I noticed most people say a person died, and they keep their stuff as a way to remember them.

 

In my opinion, hoarding is not necessarily just an issue of material goods. Hoarding of specific goods of a specific time or individual (relationship) is common too. I know people who keep photos, gifts, letters from ex-boyfriends of YEARS PAST.

Sometimes the stuff people hoard make them 'feel good'. I guess this is the only explanation why people will hoard pets (dogs, cats). I remember one episode where the animals were taken away and the owner felt she was letting them down - even though she clearly couldn't help her cats. So, in this case, the love she felt from the cats validated her reason to hoard them.

So, in the end.. there is a psychological need for certain people to want to hoard.

 

I agree people in relationships keep old letters for feelings of nostalgia. They relive what it was like in that point in their life. Even though things might have ended up going bad they have something they can hold on to after it's all over. People that hoard are trying to relive certain moments in their life over and over to the point they lose sight of the present. If you keep living in the past how will you make a better future for yourself?

 

I think it's psychological which is why they bring in a psychologist on some of those hoarding shows. I understand it totally for older people who lived through the Great Depression. Those shows are so sad, but make me feel a bit better about my housekeeping!

 

All nice discussion but unfortunately, I couldn't saw that show. I'm sure that was recorded and the recording was saved.
I need it. so, if someone could provide me the link to it?
I'll be thankful to you. Actually, in that show something was discussed about dogs and I'm curious about it.

 

I have watched the sow a few times. It is hard for me to hard stand how a person can allow their living condition to get to that point. Holding onto items because there are memories attached is one thing, but all the trash and bugs is all together a different issue. I have been in a persons house that had so much stuff who could not walk around. I once had a house for sale that had so much stuff you could not see the house. I had to have the couple take everything out of the house before we could allow people to see the house, they had animals in the house also which had fleas so bad I had to have it de-bugged. These people where older and hated to part with their stuff, some of which was valuable.

 

I can understand the hoarding, what I don't understand so much are those who keep trash or don't clean even the areas they can get to. I think if you have gone through a trauma, particularly losing someone very close to you, you suddenly realise that the stuff/photos/sentimental objects you have are so tiny compared to the person that played a huge part in your life. It's understandable that you then hold on to everything in life incase anyone else gets taken away, even if it is the magazine you bought with a friend or a jumper you wore for a family meal, because you regret ever getting rid of anything you associated with the person you lost and don't want to make the same mistake again, then it just gets worse from there. I don't understand the not cleaning thing so much though, although it does sound like a depressive thing.

 

I do not understand the hoarding myself. How can anyone stay in a house like that in pure filth and even live or breath? That kind of stuff would run me crazy to the highest nut bin. I can't take it and never want stuff. That's why I only buy what I need and I do not want that disease if that's what it's called. I do not understand, honest to God, what happen to those people?

 

It is a psychological issue akin to OCD. Wherein OCD generally manifests in actions like counting or cleaning or various rituals, Hoarding generally manifests in actions like the accumulation of items, the gathering of items, and the refusal to part with items. The acts become the center of the person's life and because they are ashamed to let others know... well it gets out of hand. And once it gets out of hand, then the shame deepens until it creates a cycle hard to break. Because hoarding relieves negative feelings, but it also creates negative feelings - it's a problem that requires time and patience to heal. I know it looks awful, but it is no different then someone who feels compelled to write until they rub away the tips of their fingers. It is a deep and binding compulsion.

 

I think the not cleaning is because they get depressed and feel like it's hopeless. One hoarder said she cleaned all night and the next day she realized she hadn't made a dent in the mess.

They can't do it by themselves. They need a team to clean up but they're too ashamed to ask anyone to come in and help them. I'm pretty sure the lady with the bags full of her poop would never have gotten it cleaned up without help from the TV show.

 

Well, it's a bit of both. People shop. People have self-control problems. A lot of people just shop all the time and keep the crap they won't even use. I have seen clips of those hoarding shows and it's pretty bad. People should certainly cleanse their home at least once a year and get rid of the stuff they won't use.

Incidentally, I wrote an article this morning that notes impulse shopping costs the average consumer nearly $4,000 per year. People shop too much for stuff that's just a waste of money.

 

You know I never thought of it like that such as OCD. My niece has this problem and she is way over board on the problem. She has so much stuff until she has 2 storage lockers full and has her entire bedroom full of stuff. She has so many clothes stacked in her closet, shoes and clothes stacked on her bed to the celing and the floor and the complete bathroom in her room full of clothes and shoes. You can't even get into her room because clothes and shoes are every where. She has never slept in the new bed she bought, she goes somewhere else to sleep at night. I never thought of it being OCD. You do not want to go to her house, I believe she has bought the same items and shoes over and over again. She needs help and she won't go get it.

 

I've noticed that a lot of the hoarders have some traumatic situation in the past that caused them to lose everything ,so they hoard to fill the void. I personally know a woman who lost everything she owned during an eviction and now she rents 14 storage units full of junk that she's picked out of the trash. It's like she's trying to replace the things she lost in the eviction and she never feels like she has enough stuff. On the show Hoarders, there's usually a tragic life event that sets them off.

 

I don't think shopping is the main problem with hoarders since there are some hoarders who accumulate things that aren't purchased and instead just discard items. From what I understand it's not really much ant self control either, as most of the stories I've heard often deals more with trauma rather than just a general lack of self discipline. I agree that there are the types of hoarding that deals more with shopping and I think that must be a bit more difficult since they are acquiring a lot of expenses on top of the psychological problems they have to deal with.

 

I know a few people with hoarding tendencies, and one in particular also has a traumatic past event that seems to correlate with the hoarding. So while it varies from person to person, I agree, there are psychological factors involved in most cases. For some it can be incidents like those, for others it could involved being raised in a household with a mindset of scarcity for whatever reason. And sometimes it can coincide with a shopping addiction, I’ve seen it happen, but not always.