In Log In, Jason Segal plays a chef who proposes to a psychologist (played by Emily Blunt) who gets accepted to graduate-school far away, so he gives up his career there & moves to where she's going to school & agrees that they should wait until their 'ready' to get married. After the few months he thinks they're going to be there, she gets accepted to a program at school that'll take a few more years; they decide that they're not going to be 'perfect for one another' so they split-up & he moves back to the old place. After a little while apart, they realize that they're never going to find anyone closer-to-perfect for each other; and they finally get married. Their wedding ceremony is perfectly imperfect; she has him pull-over his taco-truck & she drags him to a small, intimate ceremony that's sort of 'put-together by ad-lib' (she's hired a few different kinds of bands & lets him pick one, she's hired several different kinds of marriage-officiators & lets him pick one of those). It's the kind of wedding I would want---to get dragged-to almost against-my-will, etc. Watching that, I was thinking 'Only "in my wildest dreams" could I have a wedding-ceremony so perfect!' If I ever do get married, my wedding can only approach success if it follows the 'Five-Year Engagement'-pattern---which makes the standard chapel-wedding seem like an even-more-empty 'Karaoke-sequence' (i.e. where you 'get up there & say the words' with no real feeling, even if you "write the vows" yourself). Besides, what's the use of the ceremony? What was wrong with their relationship (in which they lived together every day & slept together every night) without the ceremony?
Comparison is the thief of joy. To say something won't be perfect because it won't be like something else you saw that fits you're idea of perfect today, is just preparing for disappointment. We need to just live the lives we DO have so when the unexpected happens, we soak up every minute and let it flow naturally and if you're in love, it will be perfect.. the two of you will plan or not plan for whatever suites you. Stop over thinking it
The ceremony changes things, for good or bad. I don't know why, but it does. If you are both perfectly happy without a ceremony, than that's perfectly fine. There's no need for it unless one person really needs it to feel validated, or also if you want to reap the tax benefits
