Anyone who doesn't like Christmas?

Christmas is Christmas. It's a big deal for some and nothing to others. I lie somewhere in the middle in that I get everyone gifts and I accept gifts, but you won't find me hanging decorations or caroling with my family. On Christmas Day, I spend the obligatory hour or two with family in the morning opening gifts and then I retreat to my room or head out for lunch by myself. It's a fun holiday, but it's nothing big for me.

 

I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas, and always have.

I love the celebration with family. I love the excitement, and the preparation, and the food, and even the decorations. And I love it even more now that I have my own children.

I do not love the stress. I do not love sharing it with my in-laws. And I do not love the over-hyped pressure to spend so much.

 

When I was young, I used to love the occasion because it brings together families during reunions. I hate it when I grew older and realize what is was all about... specially the commercialized version of the occasion. I would like to give gifts without any occassion.. rather than oblige myself to buy and give gifts just because of the occasion.

 

Christmas is what you make it. The crowds and the craziness and the commercial aspects will only bother me if I let it. That's all a choice.. don't want to be annoyed or stressed, then don't. You actively need to work on not allowing it to bother you so much instead of diving in and letting it perturb you. Nothing wrong with spending it alone though and nothing wrong with not exchanging gifts. I used to stress a bit during the holidays, even though it's my fave time of the year.. because I felt obligated to share it with in laws and other people I don't care for. But now that I know it's what I make it and I won't be happy doing it in those ways, I do it my way and it's better than ever. And I choooose not to dive into the stress of the rest of it. It's all in how you look at things.

 

I like Christmas. It's the only time in the year when people can afford to be generous . . . and kind. I've seen even the most stingiest, meanest people morph into something better on Christmas day. Wouldn't you like Christmas for that reason? It brings out the best in some people.

Nonetheless, I don't like everything else associated with Christmas: the gifts, the decorations, etc.

 

I don't see why anyone wouldn't like Christmas, but everyone has their own reasons and preferences. Some have no one to spend it with, some would rather be alone or others have religious objections to it. Whatever be the case to make up that minority, they just don't want any part of it. Christmas is a great time of the year though that allows family and friends to come together and open gifts, drink, eat, laugh and bond. Out of the whole year, this is the big pay off for close ones and businesses that cash into the busy time of the year when shopping happens.

 

I'm okay with it but I wouldn't say I'm too fond of it either. I just kind of accept it as it is necessary for my family to have this holiday every year. The only thing I really hate about it is the Christmas songs that you tend to hear everywhere and it never changes so you have to basically out up with the same songs for about a month every year, and it's inescapable as everywhere you go like in the malls they surely will be playing the songs.

 

I used to love Christmas when I was younger, but now that I am older and I am actually expected to go out and buy gifts for people and all of that malarkey, I don't really enjoy it. The reason being that I don't have the money to do so, and I feel kind of bad when I get presents and I am not able to give any back. Christmas represents all of the things that I am supposed to be able to do at my age, but can't lol. It's like, 'another christmas, and still she hasn't got her shit together.'

 

Aw.. I know what you mean. I see that so often and since the economy went to heck, we've gone through our spurts of that. I'd say that side of the fence is pretty packed with others going through the same thing. Is it that others will think that about you or is it comparison? I mean.. not that you envy others, but that you expect too much of yourself because of others expectations. Am I saying this right? Because I used to put pressure on myself based on the herd's expectations of people, and that pounded down path. We don't have to be anywhere but wherever we're comfortable and ready for. But yes, I know it feels bad to not return the gesture. Take up knitting! Instant gifts lol.

 

Yes, it is definitely me putting pressure on myself. Being an empath and knowing and feeling so strongly what others expect of me results in me putting that kind of pressure on myself too. It is hard to be yourself, when you are so focused on the entity that others expect you to be. It is like a constant struggle. In order to find relief from this struggle, I try not to care, but then that results in me appearing cold and uncaring at all when the complete opposite is true. I'm sure you may have experienced this as you are also an empath. It is easier to disregard the expectations of those that aren't in your face every day, but with family there is little escape from that. My family are always reassuring me - well my sister is - that nobody gives a fuck, and that they are just happy to see me smile as I receive presents. But I really cannot enjoy receiving their gifts, as I am too caught up in the fact that I cannot return them.

Other than that I enjoy the lax atmosphere at Christmas. Everybody tries to be on their best behavior and there are fewer family arguments as a result. So in that sense, the tension is reduced. Thank you for your words of encouragement Sometimes I need to be reminded of them As for the knitting, I want to make my mother a condom hat. I've always thought that she was a dick head lmaooooo!! Just kidding

 

Ahaha!! Please move here and be my new bestie lol!! Seriously.. you have to make one now. I think I'll make a bunch and send them back home, great idea lol.

Anyway, I know exactly what you mean. That didn't change for me until I left my home town lol. Great bonus. Now anyone I meet knows ME and only me; just like my true friends. I own my differences, so that's no longer an issue.. but it was with my family. Sometimes they're the harshest critics when they think they know what's best or how you should be living. People in general just don't feel comfortable around those who live differently from themselves.. especially when blood says you should mirror them.

 

Lmaooo!!! We could just sit there all day, knitting condom hats. I actually think my mother would wear one too :/ don't know what that says about her.

You make an excellent point. People don't like it when others live differently to themselves. Even down to people liking foods that you find disgusting. It's like, 'I don't like that food. Why and how do you like it?' I think that a lot of the frustration comes down to - at its very bones - frustration over not being able to understand each other. Without understanding there is rarely compassion, or even empathy, or even being able to just relate. I think that frustrates people and creates a barrier. When people don't understand they are forced to make up their own stories, and those stories are often so wrong that it is laughable.

Family are our most powerful mirrors. Many people - myself included, at times - do not want to look at themselves and see various aspects. The thing with me is that I can't do anything but go my own way. I don't conform well, as I am sure you have noticed. I may have my internal struggles, but I still do what I think is right for me. I hate that family feel like they are entitled to try to steer your life, JUST because you share blood. It is about as ridiculous as a condom hat would look sitting atop my mother's head

 

I enjoyed Christmas as a kid because my mother made all efforts to make it special for my brother and me. Nowadays I am in my 30s and usually give out gifts to my nieces and nephews. So it has become more of a chore than anything else. I like getting gifts for them no doubt but I actually prefer Thanksgiving over Christmas. You got Black Friday, better food, 4 day weekend, and 3 days of football !

 

I can't even add to that; perfectly said. That's what it all comes down to and if you're the minority, gawd help you, y'know? Whatever the majority thinks, that's the way it is. If you're outnumbered, you're wrong. It works both ways too.. I'm uncomfortable around my family for example.. because they live differently from me. Whether I think they're wrong and brainwashed or they think the same about me, differences divide us.. the only thing is, it's the majority that decides the truth and that's bullplop lol. Looks like I added to what you said, I'm such a liar!

I can visualize it now.. you and me, sitting in front of a roaring fire, listening to Christmas music, sipping hot chocolate, discussing "ghosts" and the meaning of life or lack there of, and knitting condom hats for our families. Lmao!! Love it.. I'll have to send a couple of them some Vaseline as well, to help them shove their opinions

 

And I thought I'm the only one who hate this event! I was even called Sadistic and many other negative nick names just because of my opinion of what so called Christmas. Unfortunately many of people chose to celebrate or participate in this holiday while they already don't even know the real story behind it! Anyhow, for me, I'd rather be alone at home in any holidays, I don't go to any party or a festival in holidays, and tho I go to church from time to time through out the year, I never go to church in the holidays! In simple words, "I keep it a very low profile".

 

I love how you're like, 'I can't even add to that,' and then proceed to write six more lines lmaoooo

Hahahaha! Just got to the part where you're like, 'Looks like I added to what you said.' Hahahahaha!!

I completely understand what you are saying. I have often challenged my views on other people according to my own way of life, if that makes any sense, because I can feel the divide. It is so easy to judge other people because they don't live the way you do, or believe the same things that you do. It does create a divide. How you navigate those relationships though, decides how big or small that barrier is, I find. But on the other side of the coin, diversity is what makes the world go around. Keeps shit interesting. I wish people could focus more on the positive aspect of it.

Lmfaooooo!!!! Condom hats and Vaseline?? You are so thoughtful and kind. If I am ever telling someone to shove their opinions, I expect them to do it WITHOUT lube!! I want to see them grimace.

 

Aw.. not when it's family Dreekster.. the least we can do is offer some lube LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! And I do need to stop saying "I can't add to that".. or "I'm speechless"... because usually that's when I'll end up having the most to say lmao. I think I did pretty good this time though.. kept it to under 10 paragraphs!

As for the divide.. I love my family, I really do. But I was the black sheep. The one born an empath, with a huge heart and the ability to speak lol. I don't pent everything up and I don't fear communication. If they were the same, things would be different, but sadly, they'd rather see a divide than have to have a conversation about anything that requires some feels lol. Makes them look weak dontcha know. And since they won't change and I certainly won't (actually, I do on a daily basis, but my heart stays put!), I had to remove myself so as not to feel that frustration and hurt anymore. That's not the reason I left, but it was a part of it. Because if the majority think something about you and the way you live.. you might as well be that person. Thank gawd for my three guys and chosen family and friends, who all truly see me.

So do you think you've said all there is to say to them when it comes to who you are and trying to close that divide? I found things built up over the years because I respected their fear of talking lol.. then BOOM! Josie says boo and they all run for their rocks LOL. It wouldn't have mattered anyway.. when people don't look into why they feel a certain way, they won't see why it's ancient and stupid thinking hahaa. And it's funny, because those who judge are usually not in the position to.

 

I think this is another problem of mine. However, no one really expects me to buy anything. It's just me. The pressure is all done by myself.
It's not that I hate it persay. I mean there are nice movies on TV and such and some decorations are pretty. I guess when you're a kid Christmas is everything because there's so much magic to it but as you get older it's harder to have any sort of excitement to it.
It's just basically another day to me....a little pizzazz but nothing much different. If I had a job I would be able to appreciate it more because then it feels like a real vacation. I know that doesn't really make sense but it's how I feel.

 

Who's paying for this lube? LOL! Say what you have to say. Sometimes we think we have nothing to add, but then it just pours out of use

OMG, I totally hear you on the whole not fearing communication thing, and not being able to really demonstrate that with your family because they are not the same - they do fear communication. My family are quite square. They'd rather trade passive aggressive jokes, over talking things out like adults. They avoid real feels like I don't know what to tell you, because they don't want to seem weak. You hit the nail on the head!! It is weak to keep everything built up inside if you ask me, especially when you have someone who is willing to put everything out on the table.

You are hitting ALL of the nails on the head!!!!! I am good at observing people, and knowing where they are, so when I try to point out the wrongful way of thought pertaining to others where it effects the way that they see me, they don't like it. But I see them after the dust is settled. I see them sitting there, the cogs in their head turning; they know that what I said was true. But they don't want to face themselves.

Nickchick, what you say definitely makes sense. I am right there with you, and I suspect that I'll still be there this Christmas. My mother is working for the first time ever, this year, so she won't be home to keep the Christmas atmosphere happen. It will feel kind of empty. But at least the pressure that I put on my self will be reduced somewhat. But yes, there are definitely some aspects of christmas that I enjoy, so I can't say that i hate it.