Asking help to relatives

I'm a single mother and don't get any kind of child support. If I had parents that were normal and not abusive, I would definitely reach out to them because it's challenging and stressful to support a child alone.
Being frugal is a big part of how I survive and why I participate in forums like this. I envy people who have parents that they can reach out to in an emergency.

 

No, I would never ask my family to support me because they would want too much in return. Also I would never hear the end of "we told you so". No, thank you, I don't need that in my life. Once I was in a really challenging situation and I asked a friend for help. He didn't even hesitate for a minute to lend me the money that I needed at the time. It was quite a substantial amount that I paid back to him with interest, even though he never asked for it. I consider my friends as my true family.

 

Actually no, I have not had to ask my relatives for help financially yet and I don't plan to. Reason is that I don't like to owe people favors, not just relatives but friends too. The thing is, when you start to owe people be it friends or family, your relationship with the person involved will definitely not be the same anymore especially when it comes to financials.

 

No...but I've never had to do it. I've always found a way - picked up a second job or did freelance work, etc. But I have been working since I was 16 and worked full time and paid my way through school when in college. It's always been a huge important thing for me to be able to pay my way and not ask for help.

 

I know exactly what you mean! I definitely prefer not to ask my parents for anything. It's so not worth it. I guess I would if it were a life or death situation or something, but for the most part, no.

 

I would do it if I really needed help, after all my dad has helped me when I really need money. But only if the amount is something that he can afford. I won't ask for an amount that I know he doesn't have. But I won't ask for financial help from my other relatives or sibling, only from my dad.

 

I agree that sometimes blood isn't always thicker than water. I am estranged from most of my family and my closest relative is my cousin now that my granddad has passed. Apart from my cousin, I also know better than to turn to family for help. Or so-called at least. So sad, but true.

 

I've been let down by family more than once so there's no way I can ask them for help. Ever. A few years back there was a time I badly needed money to fix something up but when I called up some blood relative who I knew could help me the answer I got was: wait.

It taught me to never rely on anybody for anything. It's much better to have an emergency fund tucked somewhere just in case . . .

In any case if you get something from anyone, you'll owe them a favor. Are you sure you'd want to pay it back along with the accrued interest?

 

That is tough, Denis. Some people are more difficult to get along with than others. Some also think that they're doing you a favor by not helping. I don't necessarily see it that way, but you can't force your opinions on others. Regardless, it does sound like you have it figured out now and that you can take care of things on your own without the help of a family member.

 

I have had to ask relatives for help before, and I'll admit, I do not like doing it, but sometimes it's nessecary, and you just have to do it. Just be sure to pay them back as soon as you can, and don't rely upon them bailing you out too much, and I'd say that there isn't much of a problem with it.

 

There are two parties involved in being involved in a loan. The one who borrow and the one who lend. If we are talking about asking help to relatives, you should know if she/he is sincere the intention to borrow and pay you back, and if he/she is ABLE to pay you back. If the reason is valid and emergency, and you know that there is no other people who could help.. i think it is better to choose to help.. but of course, there must be an agreement (in writing) about payment so you are guaranteed that you can collect it.

The problem sometimes, we are embarrassed to ask our (borrowing) relatives to sign on papers... despite the fact that they are not embarrassed to asked you to lend them money. You should be clear with them in the first place so there wont be any issue in the future.

 

Of course I have - not extended of course, but immediate family? Yeah. Then again it's not something I do often and I do repay my debts and I have helped most of them out before. Like for a while I was effectively giving my whole check to certain members to keep the utilities on and the rent paid. So my situation is fairly atypical I guess.

 

I would try to avoid it at all costs (just being who I am), because I tend to feel guilty when I receive things or ask for them. I don't know why. If it came down to it though, I would reach out to my family members, preferably my mom or dad. I think they would help me if I really did need it. Now the rest of my family I may would not do it.

 

Early twenties- divorced? why? how early were those twenties? um, I would indeed ask for help from family members, it is the most immediate and reliable source apart from a job, and loan companies that you have as an option, friends are there too to borrow from but as a first instance, it is perceived to be a better option to ask family.