While there is nothing wrong with living frugal, I have at times ended friendships with people due to them crossing the line and using me/freeloading off of me and others on a regular basis. Has anyone else had to draw the line with people in their lives who were getting way too ridiculous and unreasonable with their penny pinching? Most recently I ended a friendship with someone I've known for nearly 20 years because he has really gone to the extreme in recent years. He has absolutely no qualms about lying to his closest friends just to use them for something and/or stealing off of them. He most recently quit his part time job just because he doesn't want to work. Even when he was working, he was still going down to the food banks to get bags off stuff that he could have bought himself - and could care less that there were people far more in need than him that could have used that. He steals pretty much anything he can at the stores, and has even stolen credit cards off of a mutual friend. This past summer we had several blow outs at some parties we were at, and it was always over the same thing, alcohol. Mainly, he want's to drink all night at these parties but doesn't want to pitch in or pay for his fair share. We've tried being more explicit that these parties are strictly BYOB, and in truth it's primarily because of him. He's the first person to order a drink if someone else is getting a round, but never buys a round for everyone else in return. He'll show up to parties with a drop of liquor he had left over from the night before or a can or two of beer, then starts helping himself to everyone else's stuff the rest of the night and get hammered on everyone else's dime. When you try and cut him off or keep your stuff away from him, he gets really vindictive and retaliates by making smart remarks to everyone at the party about how your a raging alcoholic and a huge mess (in reality, he is and he's on his 4th DUI presently), and basically tries to embarrass you and spread rumors. I confronted him on this in front of everyone at the last get together we were at, and basically told him off and called him out and in turn laid all his dirty laundry for others, so he can get a taste of his own medicine for a change. We haven't talked in several months, and I have no interest in talking to him ever again going forward. But I'm still irritated that I let it go on as long as I did, and didn't cut him off sooner - even though it's all in the past now and there is nothing I can do to change it.
Your ex friend isn't just a cheapskate - he has a lot of issues going on there, of which being cheap is just one of them. We're pretty lucky that none of our friends are like that - they wouldn't be friends for long if they were. However, there is one couple who always used to order the most expensive thing on the menu when a group of us went out together. We always used to split the bill equally, but once this had happened a few times, we chatted between us and decided the next time we went out to eat, we'd ask for separate bills. We did, and guess what - they ordered the cheapest items on the menu! They're a pretty nice couple apart from that, so we just make sure we don't share a bill when we eat out.
Better late than never! I have to agree with Sandra, it seems that this guy has a lot of issues. Maybe in time, he will see the errors in his ways, until then - keep your distance! I have learned over the years that you cannot change someone unless they want to change. I think that you did the right thing by cutting ties with him for now. I'll give you credit for sticking it out as long as you did. At least you'll know that you gave him more than enough chances, so have no regrets on your part.
I would probably keep my distance from this person because it seems like he is going through a very hard time in his life financially and emotionally. Any normal person would not do this because we all think these things through and we know if we ever cross the line. For him, he obviously crossed many lines which caused him to commit the things that he did in his life. I would personally recommend him to talk to a specialist who can really set some goals for him and really talk to him to understand him.
You're giving the word "cheapskate" a bad name. Many cheapskates are just frugal people who clip coupons and make things instead of buying them. The correct words for your ex-friend are "freeloader" and "mooch". You did the right thing by cutting ties with this guy. You don't need someone in your life who steals and lies to you. If he was justa cheapskate, that would be cool. But he's a user, a liar and a thief. You're better off without him.
I used to have a friend that made me pay back 30 cents, and really minimal ammount. He'd always gloat about how thing were too pricy (even though he lived in a million dollar house) and whenever we played a card game within friends, he'd always ask to borrow a deck because he "didn't see the point in buying one". I don't know why my group of friends put up with this as he'd always ask for food every lunch even though his parents were more wealthy than all of ours combined. And the worst part is he'd get massive gifts for christmas and then show them off. If there's one kid that pissed me off in my childhood, it was him.
I had a very close friend who I don't mind losing at all when I told her that she takes advantage of shortchanging others when she can get away with it. She has a high paying job, but she doesn't want to return my DVD set after telling her many times to return it. She even steals money if people won't notice it and she can get away with it. I have high standards in general, so I don't think I can put up with dishonest people. You must be very kind and tolerant to be able to put up with your friend for 20 years.
Sometimes cheapskates have to pay. For instance, my friend liked to download movies from p2p websites. However, he was shocked when a letter came directly from movie companies demanding that - he stop or face a lawsuit. Therefore, since he was stopped dead in his tracks, he could no longer use such websites to save money on movies.
I have a few friends who are not only cheapskates but more of a freeloader. We call them kalatog-pinggan, a term in our language that means someone who would arrive on the mere sound of the plate. Since those friends are okay, they remain my friends but in all cases, I always try to avoid going with them on trips especially when spending is involved like eating in restaurants or going to resorts. Sad to say that some of those freeloaders are relatives.
