Do Continue To Buy Birthday Gifts For...

Discussion in Seasonal & Holidays started by joyful728 • Apr 11, 2015.

  1. joyful728

    joyful728Active Member

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    nieces and nephews, when the aunt and uncle never send anything for your kids on their birthday? And, yes, they can afford it! They live several states away and never acknowledge your kiddos bdays.

    I do still send something but I was just wondering what you would do in this situation?
     
  2. hellavu

    hellavuActive Member

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    Naja. Your gifts should be made out of love for the kids and for the desire to want to give them something. Ultimately, it should not be about teaching a lesson to their parents or taking it out on the small ones just 'cause their folks are greedy arses.

    Now, their kids should be thanking you, right? If you have to raise the point, maybe in the answer to a thank you would be the right time? I'm not sure. Passive-aggressive is not good, for sure, but. But then maybe just send a card instead of gifts. Not sure.
     
  3. tangela

    tangelaActive Member

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    Honestly, two wrongs do make a right. Just because the aunts and uncles don't send your kids anything for their birthday or holidays doesn't mean you should stoop to their level and do the same.

    You give gifts to your nieces/nephews because you love them and want to show them you thought about them, and show them you know what they like and stuff.

    And if the aunt and uncle are as cheap as you make them sound, I would imagine that your nieces and nephews don't really get much from their parents. It's nice to have aunt and uncles who will spoil you :p
     
  4. DreekLass

    DreekLassWell-Known Member

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    I don't have any children. But I have three younger siblings and I see how this type of exchange works with our family. Some years, aunties and uncles who have children do not give gifts to my three younger siblings. But my mother always still gets gifts for their children.

    Those aunts and uncles that did not have kids previously, but have kids now, make sure they give gifts. It is interesting to see.
     
  5. Dora M

    Dora MWell-Known Member

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    Well, sadly it's a fact of life that some people simply don't care about others. What can you do? I'd say don't worry about them, because they live in a different reality than yours. Focus on the people who care about you, and that you care about. They are the real gifts in life. :)
     
  6. Zyni

    ZyniWell-Known Member

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    Giving a gift isn't meant to create an expectation of receiving one in return. While most people reciprocate out of common courtesy, gifts are things that are supposed to be given freely with no strings attached.
    If you don't expect something in return, you won't be disappointed.

    It still makes them look cheap. I'd still send gifts for their kids. It's not the fault of the children that their parents are being cheap.
     
  7. AtlantaSports

    AtlantaSportsActive Member

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    Your gifts really should come from the heart and should mean something to you. There is no reason to half-care about what you are getting your nieces and nephews. If you don't care about it, then don't get them anything.
     
  8. Denis Hard

    Denis HardWell-Known Member

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    I wouldn't feel bad if the parents of my nieces never bought anything for my kids. I don't buy gifts hoping that I'll get repaid in some way. I love the kids and I'll always get them gifts no matter what. Actually I don't get along well with the rest of my family and when I buy gifts for their kids I never expect to hear from them at all but I get the kids the gifts anyway.
     
  9. Flowerpower

    FlowerpowerMember

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    It's sad that they don't reciprocate but I'm sure your nephews and nieces appreciate your gifts. I'm an adult but I still remember my two uncles who gave me gifts and random 'Pocket Money' to use as I liked. As someone has commented above, be the better person, people always remember the good things someone had done for them.
     
  10. Lushlala

    LushlalaWell-Known Member

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    We used to be in exactly the same situation, with some relatives who had kids, were on better wages but never sent anything or even acknowledged our birthdays. Yet we always got hints as to what they and their kids would like for theirs. I wasn't ok with it, but my husband disagreed. But he changed his mind over time as it showed no sign of changing. So we reduced it and reserved presents to Christmas only. We would go to town on presents for the kids, but not so much for the parents. It sounds tight fisted but when you're going through lean times, it can force you to remember that charity begins at home :)