Do you ever refuse to tip when you eat out?

Discussion in Stores Reviews, Comments & Complaints started by lrd913 • Oct 9, 2014.

  1. kbroder9

    kbroder9Member

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    No matter what the service, the waiter or waitress is not getting paid full pay and is relying on tips to make their living. That being said, I don't think you're obligated to pay 20% every bill. 20% should be average, but bad service (truly bad, not just, oh, he forgot to get me a refill of Coke) deserves 12-15%. Very good service should receive 20-25% tip. A nice note or a comment to a manager also goes a long way and can really help out the waiter more than the extra dollar or two.
     
  2. Zyni

    ZyniWell-Known Member

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    We have to pay for everything, every product, every service. The only difference here, with tipping wait staff, is that you actually have more control over the situation. You are in charge here; you are not being forced to do anything against your will. You get to decide how much you are willing to pay for the service. If you choose to pay nothing then you certainly should expect to get what you pay for.
     
  3. GenevB

    GenevBActive Member

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    Yes, sometimes when the service is awful and the food it's not tasty at all and you have to wait a lot for your order there's no way you shall leave any tip. After all it's only your pleasure to live a tip, you are not forced to.
     
  4. Zyni

    ZyniWell-Known Member

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    If the service is awful, it makes more sense. If the food is not tasty, that's a problem with the kitchen and should be addressed through the manager or by sending the food back. The waiter or waitress shouldn't be punished for it; they didn't cook it. If it takes a long time, that depends on how busy the restaurant is and is usually a kitchen problem as well. If the waiter is goofing off then it's his fault.
     
  5. Strykstar

    StrykstarActive Member

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    Exactly, the tip should serve as a reward for good service not as a mandatory thing that's used to complete the income of the wait staff, the restaurant's can't rely on tips to insure the staff has a proper wage...
     
  6. gmckee1985

    gmckee1985Active Member

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    Yeah, punishing the waiter or waitress for poor quality food just doesn't make any sense at all. It just sounds like someone is trying to find an excuse not to leave a tip. If the service is so horrible that it ruins your dining experience, then I think it's appropriate to leave a small tip, though. But blaming the wait staff for a screw up in the kitchen is just non nonsensical.
     
  7. plantain

    plantainMember

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    Yes, I stand by my statement: if you can't afford the cost of the bill PLUS 15-20% for tip, then just stay home and cook. If you're not sure you can afford it then you should think about what the total bill approximately will be before you go out. Eating out at sit-down restaurants is a luxury. You are not entitled to it. It is far more frugal to cook your food from scratch at home.
    I think the custom is ridiculous to an extent, but I am not going to punish the servers by withholding my tip and being stingy out of some rebellious social statement. All it does is hurt the servers financially. Hopefully in the future there will be a social movement and/or laws passed that force restaurants to pay the servers a decent living wage, instead of relying on tips for 80+% of their income. Any tips will just be a nice bonus. However that's NOT the way it is now and so I will continue to tip nicely. Also if you leave no tip they don't know why you're doing that. They may think you thought you got bad service. Then they worry about it... it's just mean and cheap...
     
  8. DreekLass

    DreekLassWell-Known Member

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    Your statement is backwards and oppressive. I am not going to alter my limits of freedom for the sake of a tip. If I am pregnant and have a craving, abut don't have the money to tip then I am not just going to stay at home until I can muster up the money to tip. That is freaking ridiculous, and I cannot actually believe that that is what is expected of people. If this strange and oppressive system was not in place in the first place, then people would not have to assume that they gave bad service. I feel like it is ridiculous.

    It will hurt me financially to tip when I don't have it, OR when I don't want to. You can't argue one side of that and not the other. Your solution is that I stay at home -_- which only further hurts the restaurant because then they get no money at all, and I am left hungry and without food, which is why that solution is ridiculous! And you want to talk about entitlement??? If I go to eat out at a restaurant and pay for the food that I ordered, then there is no entitlement involved. I order my food and PAID for what I ordered - the food!! Nobody else can tell me that they are entitled to my money after that. Once again, you cannot argue one side of the coin where it concerns entitlement and not the other.

    I used to want to live in America when I was a kid. Thank God that never worked out.
     
  9. Zyni

    ZyniWell-Known Member

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    A lot of people in a lot of areas only wish their concerns of "freedom" or "oppression" were as inconsequential as leaving a tip in a restaurant. Oppression and having freedoms taken away are far more serious issues, and in my opinion should not be equated with dining in a restaurant. People who have the means and the choice to go out to eat are enjoying a luxury, not being "oppressed."
     
  10. Teens In Crisis

    Teens In CrisisMember

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    I feel like a tip is what it is, a gratuity. It's not required, and should be based on merit. I don't believe that you should "automatically" tip, even if the service is bad. It does not matter to me that these people make less money per hour, because that's the job they agreed to do, at the rate they agreed to do it at. However, I also do not believe in punishing a server because the place is really busy, or because the food (they didn't cook) wasn't up to standards. I think they should be tipped based on the service they provide. If they provide bad service in general, get the orders wrong, are rude, reach across the table putting their pits over my food, then they won't get the most out of my tip. I very rarely tip 0% and always strive for 15/20%.

    However, if I'm out and about, hungry and ready to grab something, and I don't have the money to tip, there is nothing wrong with that. I try to make it up next time, or come back and tip the server when I can, but at the end of the day it is my money and nobody else has the right to dictate how I spend my own money. This whole concept of "don't eat out if you can't afford to tip" nonsense is very entitled, and honestly, ridiculous. If you don't like it, don't accept the job with those parameters.
     
    #70Oct 27, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2014
  11. DreekLass

    DreekLassWell-Known Member

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    I understand what you are saying. But oppression and having freedoms taken away can be as small as a grain of salt, or as big as a mountain. Once it has been done once, it will continue to happen again, or it will get bigger, which is why I have to speak up on this. The standpoint of the above poster who told me to stay at home if I do not want to tip, offered an oppressive standpoint - one born out of peer pressure which makes no sense, other than to follow along with social/cultural norms. If I stay at home, the restaurant gets no money at all, which is a bigger loss. There is no size to oppression as far as I am concerned. Once that emotion flares in my chest, it is oppression, no matter how big or small it may be. It is comprised of oppression.
     
    #71Oct 27, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2014
  12. Teens In Crisis

    Teens In CrisisMember

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    I'm just saying, after spending some time talking to my father about the Philippines during World War 2, after attending the Holocaust Museum, and other things of that nature, I think that people use phrases like "oppression" "police state" & "Nazi" way too liberally. I would imagine that people who've experienced "true" and "real" versions of these things would kind of laugh in the face of something like this. It's very much a 1st world argument in general. Not saying that people don't have a right to an opinion, but come on.
     
  13. LuckyGirl08

    LuckyGirl08Active Member

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    I always leave a tip when I done out even if I had bad service. The amount that I leave depends on the service I get. If I get great service then I try to leave at least $10 but if the device is bad then I only leave a few dollars. I have been to places where i had a rude waitress and thought about not leaving a tip but I have a good heart so I left a tip.
     
  14. DreekLass

    DreekLassWell-Known Member

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    But I'm not talking about the World War 2, or about the Holocaust. I don't care if people think that 'oppression,' is used way too liberally. Nobody owns the word or has more right to use it than anybody else. That is a ridiculous notion. If the word fits to describe what is going on, then the word fits. Does it not? Maybe look up the definition of oppression. It fits. If that offends people who think that they have more right to use the words because they feel like what they went through was worse, then that is up to them to sit there and be offended, or laugh at it. Oppression is oppression. People competing or claiming ownership over whose experience is worse is pointless when oppression of all scales take place on this Earth. Is it not? You would think that those who have been oppressed would get that it only takes one injustice for injustice to flare up and get a whole lot bigger. The world already has many injustices concerning money going on as it is. Tipping as a mandatory thing, otherwise 'stay at home,' is just another one of them, but on a smaller scale depending on who is looking at it. The above poster isn't the first person who I have heard the ridiculous, 'stay at home if you don't want to or cannot afford to tip,' point of view from, which means that there is a general consensus that this is what should be done concerning tipping, which means that people expect me to put limits on my freedom for money that is MINE to do what I want with in the first place. It most definitely is oppressive in my opinion, especially when so many have been brainwashed with that kind of thinking to the point where if people don't follow the unofficial 'rule' then there is a good chance that there will be negative consequences????? Where is the choice? Where is the freedom to be able to make the choice to tip or not without having to face negative consequences for money that is yours in the first place??? Not only are there negative consequences and or ridicule from your peers, but the establishment too???? If there was a substance that was made up of oppression in the world, then it would not matter how much of that substance you had. A big clump or a few particles of it. It would still be oppression. It would be strange not to label both quantities as such.

    With that being said if people want to tip then they should. But being pressured, ridiculed, and forced into it when tipping isn't what you want to do is ridiculous and unjust, and there is nothing freeing about it.
     
    #74Oct 28, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2014
  15. Zyni

    ZyniWell-Known Member

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    I'm sorry, but I just don't agree with this.

    This is one area in which you actually have control over the amount you pay for a service. You get to CHOOSE how much you are willing to pay (or not pay anything at all). I don't see how that constitutes oppression or removal of freedoms. You do have the freedom to choose. No one is forcing you to tip. If you allow other people make you feel uncomfortable over your choices, it still doesn't equate to being oppressed.

    People see things differently. It doesn't mean that people that disagree with your stance are trying to oppress you. It just means we disagree.
     
  16. Winnie

    WinnieActive Member

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    Yes, unfortunately I have been in a situation or two where I had to refuse to tip. In one particular instance I went into a restaurant, one that I went to quite often, but this particular waitress was new and had not seen me before.

    I ordered only coffee to start off with, and had planned to order more, but she just assumed that I was some broke person or something since I only ordered coffee, and she proceeded to ignore me the rest of the time I was there.
    She sat people down in the booth next to me, and walked past me several times in order to ask them if they needed anything else, but to me, not a word.

    As I was leaving, I told her that she had blown it big time. I had just come into a substantial financial windfall, and I had decided to leave a generous tip to my waitress that day (as I said, I went into that place to eat many times prior to that particular day, but this was the first time I had seen this waitress), but since she chose to ignore me and not even come to ask me if I wanted a refill in my coffee, she had missed out on a great, and I do mean great tip.

    I don't believe in rewarding poor service.

    On the other hand, if the service is just regular, or really good, I'll tip accordingly.
     
  17. Gin0710

    Gin0710Active Member

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    I gave a waitress a lot of pennies once because she gave me poor service. I used the pennies to make the shape of a smile. It was messed up, but she was a horrible waitress with a bad attitude. So sometimes I refuse to tip and other times I am just paying them back for their service. Why do some waitresses do that? I know there's a policy where some restaurants or businesses have the right to refuse customer service, but how can they expect to maintain a good reputation with customers if they refuse service for no reason?
     
  18. DreekLass

    DreekLassWell-Known Member

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    I am all for people seeing things differently. So not apologize for your stance. But when it comes to money being taken out of my pocket - more money than I HAVE to give, then that is where I have a problem. It is the same thing with homosexuality. Some people agree with it and others do not agree with it. That is fine with me. But when those that disagree are actively trying to negatively impact and take away the freedoms of homosexuals, than that is where the line has been crossed. Being told to STAY AT HOME if I don't want to or can't AFFORD to tip?? It is an oppressive entitled brainwashed mindset, and that is that.

    You want to tip then tip. But I disagree with the peer pressure that surrounds tipping. And with the fact that there is a high likelihood that the next time you return to an establishment you may encounter negative consequences for not tipping. Many people tip because they don't fel as though they have the CHOICE and freedom not to. Another fact. My money is my money. No one is going to tell me otherwise or pressure me into giving it away when I have already paid for whatever it is that I ordered. That kind of entitlement is ridiculous, and when you have a whole people who are brainwashed into believing otherwise, to the point that people who don't tip are ridiculed, that is oppressive.
     
    #78Oct 30, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2014
  19. Gin0710

    Gin0710Active Member

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    I agree. No one should feel pressured to tip or otherwise. That's why I hate going to church because I'm always getting a guilt trip about not tipping and how I'm taking advantage of the resources at the church. I'm sorry I thought church was a God driven calling, not a business. I don't need to feel ashamed because I can't afford to tithe. God understands that church is in the heart, not in a building.
     
  20. DreekLass

    DreekLassWell-Known Member

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    Finally, someone who sees it from the most obvious point of view lol. It is not like I am saying that people shouldn't give at all. People should have the freedom to do as they please within reason. People should be able to tip as much money as they want, but then people who cannot afford to and or do not want to should not incur a rougher time just because they aren't following suit. I am aware that people who work in these establishments don't get paid much, but it is the same in many other occupations and nobody is just handing out free money to them. I find this whole tipping system very strange indeed. If you pay for a service then you pay for a service. Giving out free money after that shouldn't be a given. How rude and entitled.

    I agree with you about Church. I actually had forgotten about the donation plate, as I have not been to church for a number of years now. But it is as though you are expected to prove your love for God by how big your donation is. That is one of the problems I have with religion - the peer pressure mindset. Not just with money but with other things. It can be very damaging. God does understand that church is in the heart. One can pray anywhere. The reason why gathering with a number of like-minded people is so powerful is because it amplifies the energy, thus the message and praise for God. But one does not have to go to church to worship God.