Doesn't It Seem like More-&-More People Are Being Too-Economical In Considering Marriage?

Discussion in Off Topic Discussion & General Questions started by mythman • Mar 23, 2014.

  1. mythman

    mythmanActive Member

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    I know I am---i.e. I'm not "seeking" marriage because I don't have the income necessary to provide. The author of The Next America says that 'my generation' is full of people who aren't marrying for a similar reason ('a good-enough income with full control' vs. 'only partial control of an unknown income-size')

    If the finances didn't matter, I would go & demand that famous rapper

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    (Onika Tanya Maraj, called "the black Lady Gaga") marry me! Maybe it would seem like I were a 'gold-digger' there, and yes I would take advantage of her wealth (in such a way as not to 'drain' it, but more-often using it to sustain itself (WHILE it's providing her & me with the luxuries we desire ;) )).

    But all that I can dare to do is 'desperately hope for her to notice my loneliness and to see that Onika Tanya Maraj is the only one who can solve it!'
     
  2. ACSAPA

    ACSAPAWell-Known Member

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    I definitely think a lot of people make decisions about marriage based on finances. I think my ex's new wife married him for his house. She brags about being a homeowner now and always has a Pottery Barn catalog in her hand. I don't actually hear her say good things about him, just about the money he'll have when he finishes school and gets a career. I think she just wanted to get her hooks into a guy that owned his own home and had some kind of career plans. So, I think some people totally marry for economic reasons or convenience.
     
  3. apple1989

    apple1989Member

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    I agree. With our economic state right now, it isn't practical to spend lots of money in marriage, not unless if you are extremely rich. Marriage is a vow between the couple and God, so it should be kept simple.
     
  4. tinyfang

    tinyfangMember

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    Well marriage is actually an outdated model of civil union. It stems from various points in our history, influenced by religion and politics over the centuries to become what it is today. I would say the idea of marriage is less a personal one and more of a social one, though some personal merit is still true. Many people I know are in civil unions like living together but not married.

    Certainly only for those who adhere to your specific religion. Marriage itself is not exclusive to one religion. When I got married, the vow I made was towards my wife and myself. My parents on the other hand had a marriage where they bowed to our ancestral shrine in Hong Kong.
     
  5. LindaKay

    LindaKayActive Member

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    I think the overall dynamics of marriage have changed a lot. In the past, it was expected for people to get married before having sex. Even those who were doing it were usually doing it quietly, behind closed doors. Having a baby out of wedlock was very much frowned upon. Living together without being married was practically unheard of and also looked down upon.

    All of that has changed. People can have sex and live together and everything else without getting married. Some people judge, but it's much more the norm now than before. SO now, people don't rush into marriage so that they can live together and stuff; instead, they live together and get married later.
     
  6. mythman

    mythmanActive Member

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    Oh, people ALWAYS could! Just that--back when couples weren't having 'protected' sex and were having it enough to result in pregnancy--the pregnancy was the REASON FOR the marriage!

    Of course, that was back when 'honor' meant something! (Although the firm foundation is still needed for the children! But people today are all about "what matters now" ... that's why THEY think this hiking-up the national minimum-wage is a 'good' thing, when it'll REALLY just make all our money WEAKER!)

    People today seem to have 'discovered' that we're little more than "monkeys in formal-wear," and they're mostly OKAY with that!

    ... ... But the question I'm really asking is 'How can we make "marriage" a "better bargain"?' I guess I could also phrase that, 'How can I make "marrying me" a better bargain?'
     
  7. tinyfang

    tinyfangMember

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    That would come down to the individuals involved rather than an universal standard.

    On one hand, I can see that 'back then, marriage meant this and that', but you have to remember that society has evolved over the decades. A lot of things were a certain way back then. Some good and some bad. For example, women were treated more like maids and child bearers who should not 'think' for themselves and stayed at home, while the man goes out to work and earn a living. On the other hand, women have become more independent and has gained momentum in fairer pay and treatment, while it is still not the norm for men to be house husbands, it is also not uncommon.

    With that said, the thing with marriage is that countries like Canada recognize common law spouses after they have lived together for X amount of years, share the same household and responsibilities. People that live contemporary lifestyles would get married for social reasons and possibly even a personal reason of recognition, labeling their relationship for each other. Marriage isn't necessary to keep a family together in some first world nations anymore. Where as back in the past, marriage was seen as the be all and end all for many people, especially women.
     
  8. mythman

    mythmanActive Member

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    I guess that's what I'm look for, suppose it's my "Catholic" blood (besides 'Catholic' coming from words that mean 'universal,' I've also been taught from early-childhood that "Catholic means 'always right'!" :p s`why Dracula was Catholic)

    Why did women throw the dependent life away? I'm not sure the little extra 'freedom' you get is worth the heavy 'responsibilities' you have to carry when you declare "independence."

    And it seems that women have been hypnotized into believing life is nothing but "NOW," so you better have some fun! I don't know why 'independence' doesn't come packaged with the knowledge that 'the independent ones are the ones responsible for the future'---that--like it or not--their actions decide the fate of life for millennia to come :eek:

    I take it from Adam & Eve. Regardless of the fact that they're part of 'the story Moses made up' (which he heard/put-together from various stories told him throughout his life), it boils down to 'a problem & a solution.' Problem: It is not good for the man to be alone. (wasn't Jesus that said it, but it might as well have been)

    Solution (at least the solution given there): bring the man a help meet for him. He tried all the animals (the Bible is mum on what is meant there ... one can guess, but one should keep it to oneself), so God made something out of the man himself. The Bible is also mum on 'why the clone didn't turn out male as well' (or maybe it DID, but was mutated after The Fall of Man), but I'm glad it didn't; women teach men great patience.

    I've been trying the patient route, and am still not married! Think it's time to try impatience?
     
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