Expensive Relationships

Discussion in Off Topic Discussion & General Questions started by ACSAPA • Jan 30, 2015.

  1. ACSAPA

    ACSAPAWell-Known Member

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    My ex's new wife has 600 pairs of shoes, only wears fine jewelry with real gold and diamonds and only wears designer perfume. As a result, he was working two jobs around Christmas time and sweating over whether he would be able to afford a diamond necklace for her. When we were together, I was happy with a $20 coffee maker and a bag of Dunkin Donuts coffee.

    As a frugal person, having a partner with those kinds of expensive demands would drive me nuts.
    Do you think that having a high maintenance partner is worth it? Are you willing to work your fingers to the bone for love?
     
  2. JosieP

    JosiePWell-Known Member

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    I would yes, but not in the same way for the same reasons. I would never be with someone so shallow (sorry.. are you two friends? lol). What I mean is, we should be with someone we feel we share the same values with. Or at least those that can coexist with our own. I would never be with someone that would find importance in expensive pieces of metal and rocks or squirts of smelly chemicals.. it's just weird to me lol. But hey, if someone wants to work two jobs to support that, so be it. If he doesn't like it, he should have appreciated what he had before her.
     
  3. ACSAPA

    ACSAPAWell-Known Member

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    Hi Josie. No, I'm not friends with her. I tried to be, because I'm a feminist and don't have catty ,jealous feelings about other women. But she couldn't get past my being his ex and the mother of his child.
    I don't think I have much in common with her anyway, as I don't agree with spending a month's rent on a pair of shoes.
     
  4. DTracy3

    DTracy3Member

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    I personally don't like people that seem really materialistic so for me a partner having these expectations would be a turn-off. However I would maybe give them a chance if I would like the rest of their personality. I believe if you want someone to accept you being frugal you should also respect someone for liking expensive things. However, I don't think it's ok to expect from your partner to buy you these things.
     
  5. Onionman

    OnionmanActive Member

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    I would definitely struggle to be with someone with a such an extreme different perspective on money. It's just not something I would want to get into arguments about. Money is, after all, central to a lot of the decisions you make in a relationship and if I feel that my partner is jeopardizing our future I would struggle to not argue.
     
  6. Andrea Phillips

    Andrea PhillipsActive Member

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    No I could not work so hard to supply someone else's materialistic desires. I am a giving person and I like to treat the one I love with occasional gifts. That is only because they are worth it and love me in return. The money can be being used for fun activities together etc. Sometimes people feel they have to impress their mate with the materialism.
     
  7. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25Active Member

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    Absolutely no. I don't think I'll be able to deal with a person with such attitude. It's just fine to spend money on material things such as clothes and shoes once in a while, but shopping as your obsession/addiction is a big "no." It's not healthy anymore, it could totally ruin my relationship with my partner.
     
  8. jneanz

    jneanzActive Member

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    Money is a funny thing as what some consider expensive may be average. However, it should not a major factor in a relationship. It may seem overly idealistic but two people should be in sync with their monetary values and where they want their money to take them.

    Now 600 pairs of shoes is a lot unless they came from the 99 Cents Store. Though some think nothing about working on the holidays, there is something called quality time that no amount of money can create. I can remember putting on fancy Thanksgiving dinners but being miserable from having to deal with family and my now ex.

    Maybe there is some type of trade-off between these types of couples but seldom does it last.
     
  9. Nickchick

    NickchickWell-Known Member

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    I doubt this would be an issue for me as men wouldn't be high maintenance in that way...not usually anyway but if I were to swing the other way or come across a man like that, I wouldn't want that kind of relationship. However, if I were to choose between extremes I'd rather deal with that than have someone who always would take care of me like I was an invalid but that's just me.