Gifts that the giver can't afford.

Discussion in Gifts & Flowers started by Lostvalleyguy • May 28, 2014.

  1. Lostvalleyguy

    LostvalleyguyActive Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2014
    Threads:
    168
    Messages:
    524
    Likes Received:
    14
    I tend to be fairly aware of what the people around me make for a living and what they can and can not afford. I will never buy a gift if I can't comfortably part with the money and it is awkward when someone get me a gift that they can not afford.

    How does on politely refuse the gift? Some gifts can't be returned and so, they become an even bigger issue. Do you thank them and take the gift? Do you look for a way to pay them back in some way?
     
  2. H.C. Heartland

    H.C. HeartlandActive Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2014
    Threads:
    246
    Messages:
    874
    Likes Received:
    148
    I know what you mean, but it is hard to determine if a person can afford to give a gift or not. I did refuse an airline ticket out of country once. The friend wanted to give it to me and it was money given to her by her father. I told her, 'Your father wanted you to have that, I cannot take it.' This to me was a gift I would never be able to afford, a gift that she wasn't able to afford because someone else gave her the money, and it was just too generous. There have been other times when I have complimented a person on a gift and they went to give it to me. I refused that because I knew it was not their plan to give it to me but they were moved to do it. On other occasions I have taken an item when it was spontaneously given. Some people are really good at finding deals so they might be giving you a high quality item but got it at a discounted price. So to answer your questions, I would refuse by saying, 'Thank you but I cannot accept', however I would not do that a lot. I think most of the times I would take the gift. And I often look to pay back in the future with like gifts. People often give what they would like. If they like perfume for example, and they bought you an expensive piece. You could purchase perfume next time but not an expensive kind but something unique. For eg. maybe they grow a flower in their garden, you can learn how to make your own perfume out that flower and then give it to them as a personalized gift. There are You Tube videos on how to make your own perfume.
     
  3. mikelouis

    mikelouisActive Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2014
    Threads:
    8
    Messages:
    444
    Likes Received:
    5
    I must say that it is not easy to refuse a gift. Furthermore it is rude, you cannot be sure how much the person has gone through to get the gift for you and you just refuse to take it. Just take it and when it is time to give back a gift, try and make an effort and get something better than what they gave you.
     
  4. DrRipley

    DrRipleyExpert

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2012
    Threads:
    740
    Messages:
    4,313
    Likes Received:
    315
    I think the best way is to just be upfront about it. If the giver knows you are being sincere then he or she is more likely to understand. However, I think it's best not to assume and maybe start by asking questions first such as if he or she came into a bit of money. If he or she insists, don't feel bad for accepting it as it still wouldn't be your responsibility to worry about someone else's finances, but I think it is good that you at least recognize a problem and are willing to try and fix it.
     
  5. prettycolors

    prettycolorsActive Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2014
    Threads:
    109
    Messages:
    731
    Likes Received:
    17
    Not accepting the gift can be rude so if subtle hints of refusal don't work, just accept it. But make sure to have a honest discussion about presents in the future to avoid similar situations where the price of the gift is well above the monetary means of the giver. Also, there are times when people feel like they owe someone something so this could be one explanation for expensive gifts.
     
  6. Denis Hard

    Denis HardWell-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2013
    Threads:
    991
    Messages:
    4,335
    Likes Received:
    790
    I will accept the gift but I'll make a note of repaying the giver in type in future. There are things people need so if I know the value of the gift that person gave me, I'll save up some money and buy that person what I know they need. Of course, most people will make a half-hearted attempt to reject an expensive gift but I'd stand my ground and tell him/her to give to a charity of their choice if they don't like it [the gift].
     
  7. Peninha

    PeninhaWell-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2013
    Threads:
    294
    Messages:
    1,475
    Likes Received:
    23
    I would not refuse a gift either, the sort of people that offers me gifts usually knows what they can spend, so I think it's crazy if someone would be spending more than they can. My brother used to give me and my kids expensive gifts when he was single and living with my parents, but now that he has a family of his own his gifts are of less value of course.
     
  8. Kitty Reeves

    Kitty ReevesActive Member

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2014
    Threads:
    53
    Messages:
    375
    Likes Received:
    30
    I don't think I've ever gotten anything that was hugely expensive? Like, I think the most expensive thing some one ever bought me was a PS2, but I was 12 and it was my mother giving the gift, so I don't think it really counts. Everyone I know doesn't spend out of their means, so I haven't gotten any huge gifts. Does it count if it came from a parent or a family member? Because my Dad has given me a couple expensive gifts, but they were never something that I couldn't have bought on my own.
     
  9. Sweetkymom

    SweetkymomActive Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2014
    Threads:
    64
    Messages:
    361
    Likes Received:
    9
    To not accept a gift because you think you know their financial business is very rude. Anyone can barter, trade and or sale something to get you a gift they want you to have. Most often then not, everyone knows their budget and what they can/cannot spend on a gift. Next time take the gift given and be ever greatful!
     
  10. forextraspecialstuff

    forextraspecialstuffActive Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2014
    Threads:
    9
    Messages:
    613
    Likes Received:
    8
    I would thank them for the gift in person and then send a hand written thank you note. I would never refuse a gift--I don't mean that in a greedy way--because I think it could make the giver feel horrible uncomfortable. Also, some people just budget for extravagant gifts, I know I do, so if someone didn't accept something I gave them I would feel uncomfortable and not know how to react because I would want them to have it.
     
  11. wander_n_wonder

    wander_n_wonderActive Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2014
    Threads:
    0
    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    10
    Honestly, it would be very hard to refuse a gift, especially if you see that the giver actually tried his best to get that gift for you. I think it's really impolite to refuse it and it would hurt the other person a lot. I think the best to do is just to appreciate it, show them how happy you are, and probably find ways later on to give back the favor in some other ways. In most cases, people try hard to give something even if they have difficulty affording it because they would like you to be happy. And so, give back the favor by showing that you are indeed happy and thankful for the gift. Refusing it would be an insult to the effort exerted by the giver.
     
  12. 003

    003Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2014
    Threads:
    174
    Messages:
    1,148
    Likes Received:
    36
    I take the gift and pay them back somewhere like giving them a gift of equal monetary value. If I wouldn't do it, then I would really feel bad. I couldn't refuse the gift. The giver would take that as an insult, much more if it were because he can't really afford it. I appreciate his gesture, and it's his own decision. So I don't want to make him feel bad. But I won't show to him that I really liked the gift. I will be like, it could have been a simpler more meaningful one, so the next time he's just gonna give that one I am asking. Something that will not make me feel guilty to have accepted it.