Homosexuality: Nature or Nurture?

As a lesbian, I can assure you that most of the time it is nature. But I have also met a handful of people who are gay and think that it was nurture, or a little bit of both. Most homosexual people who you talk to about this will tell you that they were born this way, and that we had no idea that anything was wrong with how we were until society told us that there was something wrong with it.

Science suggests that a person's sexuality is already determined at an early age. I knew when I was very young, but didn't know there was anything amiss until I looked around and had to keep asking myself what on earth girls were seeing in boys. That was when I noticed that there were no girls with girls. Heterosexuality seemed unnatural to me. I didn't understand how girls could feel sexual attraction towards boys. I still don't. But I get it from a logical standpoint.

 

A mutant abnormality??? Being gay isn't a new thing. It's also not just a human thing. It's been around since the beginning. Your beginning is different than mine.. it seems to all begin with incest. That's ok, but it's not ok to be BORN gay. The way your god apparently wanted it.. are you saying he's wrong? I'm sure by now you know how many people are on this planet. And that every last one of us is different. So many people share traits and characteristics and sexualities and careers and pets lol.. but not one of us came about these things in the exact same way. Most people are born gay. Many choose.. and it's a valid flipping choice! I have zero qualms with what sex someone is as long as they are good people. So if something happened to my husband, I may end up with a woman. I wasn't born gay, but who is anyone to tell me I can't choose a same sex partner?? Some people find they relate better to the same sex on all levels and choooooose to go that route romantically. Nothing wrong with it. They aren't pretending; they've found happiness in another way.. a different way than was shoved down their throats growing up.

It doesn't matter why someone is gay. it's nobody's business; nature or nurture. Either way it's their lives and they deserve every right and happiness the rest of us do.

 

Don't feed the troll, Josie. When I once posted an article about homeless teenagers that were basically thrown away by their parents for being gay, he said that he didn't care enough about the topic to read the article. He basically said that parents who give birth to gay kids have every right to throw them out of the house and not feed them or be financially responsible for them.

 

i think it's a little bit of both. i think a lot of people are born with their sexual preferences being attraction to the same sex. but i think there are obviously people who choose to be gay, or who have an attraction to both sexes. so i don't think there's a really clear cut answer here. i think intelligent people can rationally disagree on this issue.

 

Being gay is nature not nurture. As JosieP stated above that gays are found in other species too. I really don't get the link between that horrible movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and homosexuality. Men can't have children. That's a biological fact.

 

All I know is that when a person is what we refer to as a 'late bloomer,' - basically realizing their sexuality later on in life - their preference for the same sex usually doesn't just appear out of nowhere. It usually has always been there. But just dormant. Or the host has found other things to blame their interests in the same sex on, like admiration, and even envy. But what many say is that it has always been there for them. They were just interpreting it in another way, which is strange but happens.

 

Ahh, gotcha.. I didn't see that. We'll lucky for him, it's not ok to throw away the small minded lol. I know I'm just feeding him, but I also can't let it pass. So many people read these and you never know who will "see the light" when it comes to these very important topics. Not that I'd be one to show someone the light, I tend to get insulting when it comes to blatant unfairness, but I tried reeeeally hard this time to keep it civil lol.. maybe someone will say "AHA! She's right.. gay people ARE human beings". It's so simple yet deserves repeating. It's sad too.. these people treat those they judge as less than human and don't realize it's actually them who acts outside our species.

 

Yep, I know of a couple late bloomers. I also know of choosers lol. I know I'm not gay and I hate the bi term.. I'm a people person lol. I prefer men probably because it was shoved in my head that it's the only way. Nobody used to question that as those sinful gay people hid in their closets for thousands of years. But I know they aren't the only people on the planet that could make me happy or vice versa. I just don't give a bleep what's in someone's pants. That doesn't make me a faker or a hypocrite. Not saying that's what you're saying lol.. what I mean is, it's not just born in people these days. It's not just gay people coming out of the closets, but anyone who ever had their own thoughts and feelings and at heart, were always outside that tiny box everyone thought they fit so neatly in. We ALL are starting to see it's ok to be whatever the hell we are.. it's just some are being restrained more than others. I'm starting to think it's actually being straight that was nurtured into us, so maybe you're right lol..

 

I know one thing, I don't buy into the idea that homosexual people can be "cured", as some religious people seem to think. Maybe a person can contain their sexual urges and force themselves to be with the opposite sex, but I'm sure that urge and desire they previously felt is still there, so they are not really cured. They are just using an extreme form of self control and discipline.

 

I suspect that rather than biology being destiny, our sexual preference is shaped by a combination of early experiences, peer pressure, opportunity, circumstances and fate.

 

LOL! Obviously it wasn't nurtured into me enough. I am so gay that it hurts. But it hurts so goooooddd!!! I think that bisexual people may be the most evolved in a way. They love no matter what, and I can't do that seemingly lol. Well I can still do it, but I can't love a man as in finding him sexually attractive, or finding male qualities appealing in a romantic way. But I can love a guy in other ways, though even that is rare since I am bored by most men. I think we addressed this before. Not all men, of course. But most of the ones that I meet anyway.

The choosers??? Care to elaborate on what you mean?

 

Well of course I meant being straight could have been nurtured into the rest of us LOL. Didn't work with you, you rebel! lol.. annnnyway. Choosers.. the ones who choose to be with the same sex when they aren't actually gay. Like I would be a chooser if I chose to be with a woman later on. I wasn't born gay, I love and prefer men, but I'm open to anyone. That would be a choice for me. I wasn't born "open" either.. that's something I've grown into, gaining an appreciation for everyone and everything. There is no one way to be, so no, I don't think being with the same sex is ONLY something one is born with. Although it's true for most for sure. I wouldn't for one second close my brain enough to think you and the vast majority chose your sexuality. The choice to be with the same sex is there though and happening more now because as time goes on, we're allowed to be whatever the heck makes us happy.

 

I agree. There are many things that happen to people in life that could lead them down a path of homosexuality. Mine just happened to be that I feel I was born this way. I could always appreciate if I man was good looking. But I didn't want to bounce on his penis because of it and marry him, you know? Lmaooo!!!Then there are people who say they feel like they are now homosexual because they have been sexually abused. There are the choosers. There are the late bloomers.

So getting back to your homosexual tendencies, lol, would you be able to fall in love with a woman? That is how I personally 'grade,' any sexuality. By whether you can fall in love with that sex. Sex is sex, and the body reacts sometimes. But love is entirely different. A lot of girls who identify as bisexual cannot actually fall in love with women, but they can with men, and so it doesn't matter what they say to me; they are straight women to me. Not bisexual. They might be able to have sex with other women. But if they can't fall in love with other women, then they are straight to me. But then again, they could argue that they haven't found the right woman. My sister has done sexual things with other girls when she was growing up, and she admits that a girl can turn her on. But as far as falling in love? She can only fall for men. So to me she is straight.

 

I agree, she is straight. I could honestly fall in love with anyone at this point. I don't see in people what most do.. most obviously seek the all mighty body part first and foremost (psshhh lol), then on to looks or money or whatever. After being through it all and back, I only see the person they are, not the sex or the face or the weight or any of that. I "fall in love" with people I grow close to as it is.. it's just the route my heart takes with people I connect with that end up a part of my life, so chances are, I'd probably love the person before I connected with them on a sexual level anyway haha.. not IN love, but you know what I mean. It wouldn't be a huge leap for me. Again though, I wouldn't seek it out. Realistically, I wouldn't even be thinking of another relationship after my husband.. but I would need connection and who knows where it would go from there.

I know what you mean about the choosers. There are so many out there that play with it to turn on the guys or to say they're different (oh how lucky they are to be able to.. not too long ago, NObody would dare do something like that). I do think of the sexually abused a lot when I think of this topic as well. It's a valid choice for them imo, many turn away from men after something like that and I know someone who has. Again though, you're right.. the gauge is whether or not they could love the same sex and for many in this particular case, they do.

 

I use to believe that homosexuality was a choice, but the older I get the more I disagree with this. I feel that homosexuality is something that those are born with due to what I have read and heard from homosexual friends. It is something that seems to really bother a lot of homosexuals that I talk to but I feel it is how they are born.

 

I find it strange that people would ever think that homosexuality would ever be a choice. Why would anyone choose to stand out in a way that can be so harmful and even dangerous? Most people just want an easier life. Being gay doesn't fit in with that lol. But many people hear that, 'It's a choice,' thing and all just take that on as their point of view on the issue of homosexuality.

It is so strange to me. But then maybe it is because I have gone through it.

 

Easy to say it's a choice when you don't see someone beaten or murdered for their "choice". I'm surprised anyone that was alive and old enough even a couple of decades would say it's a choice.. how could they miss the chaos and the hell that was endured for just being born?? It was the go to.. being gay just was not accepted. Who would choose to be different in a society that despises differences? Fit in the box or go to hell. Thankfully, the last little while has embraced differences.. the "misguided" are being out numbered.

 

Exactly. It is and was their go-to explanation for something that they didn't even want to try to understand, because if they had even given it the slightest bit of consideration, all of these points would have arisen in their minds, and they would have asked themselves, 'well, why would these people choose that?'

I love how the 'misguided' are being outnumbered. But at the same time it seems as though if you do not agree with the majority, you are outcast in some form, which I can't say that I agree with either. Freedom of speech still should be a thing, and so should the freedom to think what you think. I think that the line is VERY thin though.

 

No, I totally agree. I'm tired of hearing the free speech tirade, it and god are used all too often to be a complete jack ass, but at the same time.. go for it. I like it when people out themselves for who they really are.. it's necessary. And once we shut one group up, it just leaves the door open to shut the rest of us up. I agree. My problem with being openly bigoted is because of the fact that each and every voice contributes to rights being stripped from other human beings. Like they're animals trying to prove their worth. If someone doesn't agree with what another person is, that's fine.. they don't have to be besties or anything. But when you're voice lends to affecting other people's lives in any sort of negative way; I have a very big problem with you lol. So yes.. thin line indeed. I appreciate those who don't agree for whatever reason, but "lets live" and doesn't vote to hold people down and back. The rest I have a serious beef with lol. But again.. they're being outnumbered and I have to keep that in mind. There is no going backwards here so nana nana booboo bigots!