Is it a must to give her gifts?

I've never expected to be given gifts, except at birthdays and at Christmas, although my husband has occasionally surprised me with flowers, a meal out or a small gift at random times. One time I don't expect gifts is Valentine's Day. My first husband always bought stuff for me, but he was a lousy husband all year round, so it meant absolutely nothing.

If she's a bit full on about expecting gifts, maybe you should ask yourself if it's you she's interested in, or what you can provide for her. And if she's giving an ultimatum, I would definitely think hard about continuing. She should be with you because she likes and respects you, not because she sees you as a year-round Santa Claus.

 

Today is Valentines and so I am sharing quotes about love in my tweeting and FB posting activities. This one I just tweeted: A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver. -Thomas a Kempis #quotes

It really is the thought that counts. Some of the best gifts you can give are things that cost very little or nothing at all. Gifts are a big deal in my family so I've always been a gifter. I don't necessarily do anything extravagant, and sometimes I make my gifts. You just have to let the gesture fit the occasion/circumstances.

Giving someone a gift is merely a way to let them know you were thinking of them and/or you appreciate them in some way. However, no one should have to feel obligated to give someone gifts. As long as you are showing the special person in your life that you appreciate them, it should be enough.

If I were you I'd take a step back - is your new GF saying you aren't showing that you appreciate her or is she materialistic and just wants you to buy her things? If the problem is you, that's easy to fix. If the problem is her, you need a new girlfriend. Everyone wants to feel special, but no one should ever tell you "give me gifts or I'm gone."

 

I agree with Sandra and Chanell, I would be a bit concerned about what the future would hold for you if gift giving is a requirement of the relationship. There are some folks that do see gifts as a way of showing affection and receiving them makes them feel loved but it should never be forced upon someone to do it. If you want to give a gift, then that is fine but you should never feel like you have to. If you want this relationship to work, you really should discuss this with her. If you say nothing and give into buying gifts just to keep her, eventually you will begin to resent and despise her.

 

I refused any gifts from my fiancee now my husband when we dated. I believe that valuing a relationship based on what the person can give you is a lousy thing to do.. I would be concerned too if I were you.. I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone who only values me for what I can buy them... Maybe it is time to take a closer look at your relationship.

 

A gift should be given because you want to give the gift not because you are expected to give one. If your new gf is only interested in gifts I would think twice if I would want her as my gf. You are not santa clause.

 

I agree with this 100%. There is a problem if you are expected to give gifts. The alternative should never be that your partner leaves you. What will happen if you have to save for something and cannot be anything frivolous? What happens when you suddenly do not have the income you are used to? Are you expected to take car of her?

There are some major things that you may need to think about. While it may be nice to be with this woman, think about why she may be with you. Do you give into everything she wants? Do you let her win all the time? A relationship is a two way street based on communication- is that happening?

A gift should never be EXPECTED. It is always nice, of course, to be the recipient of a gift. But you should never feel pressured to buy a gift.

 

Well my friend, based on the replies here I'm pretty sure that you get the message loud and clear, and I agree with all of the posts here. The fact that you must buy her gifts clearly shows that she's using you, and she likes you only for what you can give her, but you are very much willing to take the bait, unfortunately. It's up to you if you want to be taken in for a "materialistic ride" with this girl, but you've been warned. You remind me of my friend, by the way, she's like you, but she's the female version that buys men gifts so that they could stay. Always remember, there are 2 types of people, the deceiver and the one being deceived. Don't be the 2nd one.

 

Its good to give the gift to your love once, Flowers are the best gift its show the love and respect.

 

So she wants to date you but only in exchange for material goods. Isn't that basically prostitution?
It would be understandable if she wanted a gift on her birthday. But if she said you have to "spice" her with gifts as a condition of dating you, you might want to consider whether you are being used and whether you're going to allow it to continue.

 

I agree with all of the post here also. If a person is just expecting a gift from you, you need to tell them to kick rocks. I don't like for anyone to expect a gift from me, even though I do give on holiday's and Birthdays even then I forget sometimes and feel bad because he's always coming with something and he expects gifts. But as far as I'm concerned I wouldn't do that either if he didn't give me all the time. I tell him I do not want anything and here he comes with something, and it irritates me. Maybe I might be wrong but I feel if I want something let me buy it myself. Who knows me better than myself. I do not like junk and that's where it ends up being in the junk pile. In other words get rid of your girlfriend.

 

Gift is best way to express our feelings with others. I think flowers, dresses, ornaments etc... are the best gifts to her. Because every girl must like these.

 

I think that in this case she really likes to receive gifts which seems a bit materialistic from her side so you should really decide if this is the type of girl you want to be with.
She might be with you just because of the nice things that you can offer. This is a very tricky situation so I would recommend to talk to her and decide if you both shouldn't get each other gifts in the beginning because you just started dating. She really shouldn't be expecting anything from you this early on.
Good luck and I hope I helped!

 

I think it depends on what she means by "gift." Try this: give her a cheap (possibly free) but very thoughtful gift and see how she reacts. Some girls are super high maintainance, but don't care how much money you're spending. They just want to feel like you thought about them. So, say, if she likes cupcakes, bring her a cupcake (make sure it's the kind she likes) and make a huge deal out of it. If she's tickled pink about that, then yeah, just keep periodically bringing her small gifts. If she demands that every special occassion requires dinner at a gourmet restaurant and jewelry with diamonds, then she's probably a gold digger, and you probably can't afford her.

 

Is she with you because she wants to be with you or because she wants to be showered with gifts? It seems rather odd that she demands gifts all the time, that's not normal and it makes me think she is just using you.

 

Most girls love flowers and chocolates. You can add some teddy bear too. Whatever cute and fancy, I think they're going to love anyway. I hope your girl is not too much particular of the price though.

 

It always depends on the woman. She wants to feel special. You must determine what things you can give that will make her feel that way. Some women like jewelry, some do not. Some like outdoor activities, some like indoor ones.
Whatever it is about her that you find special is what you should look for in a gift too. Something that compliments her tastes. Perhaps something that you both enjoy!

 

It depends on you though. For me, I would give her gifts only on our anniversaries and holidays, which I think it's part of the memory and the moment kind of thing. It is not mandatory to give her gifts, however, if you want to surprise her and make her happy, then I would do it.