Of course it's ethical. It's no one's business what anyone else does. I personally think the bible is irrelevant now. It would be irresponsible not to I think. Divorce is very expensive, and it really is the smartest way to really get to know a person to find out if you want to marry that person.
I don't think I'm gonna change what any of 'you people' think about marriage/relationships/romance/unicorns/care bears/etc. (though some might be wise enough to change what they think themselves). But the latest episode of Log In (the one getting us ready for the series-finale next week ... I'm almost as excited as the advent of new DOCTOR WHO-episodes get me!) shows us 'how marriage should be.' And no, I don't mean "the One Vow that Barney gave." I mean the fact that--although Ted 'had Robin first,' stole her a blue French horn and went through great pains to find her special locket & give it to Barney to give to her--she and Barney were RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER (that they "love" each other is kinda like the way you wear a band-aid while a cut heals ... the cut heals with-or-without the band-aid, but the 'love' protects the 'couple' to make sure they don't heal back together wrong) I might've said it before (too lazy to surf back a page & see ) ), but marriage is like the graduation ceremony (except traditionally, you 'go to school' before graduation). I might point out that Steve Jobs, Bill Gates & Henry Ford didn't graduate from universities before they went on to their successes (and come to think of it, neither did Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera or numerous other pop-stars). (or maybe they did, but I'm pretty-sure it didn't have any tangible effect on their success) And it would've been 'logical' for those fortunate people to have graduated universities (or--in the case of Ford & the pop-stars--high-school). But maybe their success would have a more 'lived in' quality to it---like their products weren't so-much 'fresh ideas' as 'the latest model of an old idea,' making the people not so-much 'inventors & creators' as 'the newest assembly-line workers.' I don't want a wife that's been tested & tried & had all the bugs worked out before she's my wife (because some of those bugs will hold the solution to my bugs, & vice versa). I need my wife to be a prototype (as I suspect I am for her), and we will bond in solving each other's malfunctions.
My feelings about it are neutral. I lived with my ex for 10 years. Then we broke up in a very vicious and ugly way. If I had married him, we would be going through an ugly divorce and fighting about custody, so I feel like I dodged a bullet by not marrying him. I'm really thankful that all I had to do was move out and not deal with divorce proceedings, so it's a blessing and a silver lining that we weren't married. If people aren't going to live together before marriage, that's cool, I believe in God too. More power to them, but they should at least spend some time visiting each other's homes and maybe sleep over at least once. Because there are bad habits that you won't find out about until you get married and move in together, and some people get surprises that they didn't sign up for.
In my opinion, the only way it is wrong is if the two people who are living together are religious. The reason I say this is because marriage is a biblical thing. It was written in the bible to be an agreement between a man, a woman and God. With that said, I am not against the idea. I think everyone is entitled to equal rights, just not in the form of a marriage. My sister feels the same way and she is a lesbian. So if they are following what they preach, there is nothing wrong with it.
Is living together before marriage ethical? You sound like a follower. Why not think for yourself and make your own choices in life, rather then worrying how others will think about it? Marriage is good, as long the government stays out of it. I feel like I need to say this every time I hear the word marriage. Anyone who feels the need to let the government into their relationship is an idiot.
I really don't see anything wrong with living with your partner, married or not. I live with my boyfriend and I can't imagine if we hadn't prior to marriage. What if he was impossible for me to live with? I think it's perfectly acceptable to figure out your differences prior to marriage.
Though I live within a religious community that are obviously against with this kind of thing but I lived with my husband for 7 years before we got married and have a baby. We spent those years to really get to know each other, shared what we had with each other, and also to get our own house. O own family never objected us as they all knew we were more than serious and loved each other so much. I believe that if you are wanting to marry your partner and have kids together then a strong foundation should be built starting from the relationship and before the marriage takes it's place. Not only after the wedding is done.
Of course it's ethical, not only ethical but also beneficial. It's a great way to know if you can live with your potential husband/wife for life, what if you get married and you lived together in one roof only to find out that you can't stand your partners habits? It's probably the best thing to do before marriage since you're getting to know each other in a much more personal sense as supposed to just going out in public and wearing a fake personality to please your partner.
Yes, I know this has nothing to do with this topic but I love Doctor Who and I am also excited for the new series. In fact, I've made a topic somewhere in the Movies and TV shows section asking about favorite sci-fi series. I've been watching the classic stuff while I wait, whenever I've felt in the mood for it. Personally, I like a long, slow courtship. We don't particularly need to live together but we do need to be certain whether or not this is the person we're going to be with forever. I don't mind, for instance, if the person I'm seeing is dating someone else while we're dating but, if my love is sure they want only me and we get engaged, that person should only be going out with me romantically. If they decide that they aren't as into me as they thought they were, I would rather they divorce me or break the engagement with me than go behind my back and cheat on me, although I would rather the last step of getting married be only when we are certain completely, I realize that feelings can change. As long as they're honest about it, I have no quarrel with them. Even if I would feel hurt, I would try to be logical and understanding with them.
You sound like an anarchist. Saying 'the government should stay out of marriage' is like saying 'the detective should stay off the police-force.' 'Marriage' IS "letting the government into your relationship" ... it's basically 'having them record it.' That's what they mean when they say marriage is "legal"---not that 'your intercourse with a consenting adult is NOT ALLOWED unless you have a marriage-certificate,' but just that 'your marital partnership is RECORDED.' But isn't part "marriage" the fact that both individuals 'change' a little for the sake of the couple? It's like when you 'mate' socks (if you do it the way my mom taughtt me): you line the par of socks side-by-side, then you place your hand with the palm in one & the thumb in the other, clasp your thumb to your palm & twist your hand (so that both socks turn inside-out & stay clumped together until you unclump them). I fear that this is part of a misunderstanding of marriage---a misunderstanding made popular by 'happily ever after' fairy-tales ... that marriage means lovey-dovey feelings all the time. Old married people know there are times when you 'love them, but not because you like them' ... you love them because 'they are THERE' (like a part of your body ... I don't LIKE my left hand, but getting rid of it won't make life any easier!) Marriage doesn't change 'what you want from life,' just makes getting-it and/or not-having-it easier.
This. Living together beforehand actually protects the "sanctity" of marriage more than only living together when being married. It's a huge difference living with your partner than it is just being boyfriend and girlfriend. You have to know if you can live with all the annoying habits that every person has when they're at home (and we ALL of them). It makes no sense to get married and then find out you can't stand living with the person 6 months down the road. That's far more irresponsible in my book.
I think living together before marriage is perfectly fine. It's none of your business to tell them that they shouldn't be able to do that. I can't even believe that some people would still think these days that living together before marriage is wrong.
