Rewards for good behavior?

I don't see anything wrong about reinforcing good behavior as long as you thoroughly explain what the gift or treat is for. Also, capitalize on the topic while you're at it, ask him how he would feel if he were at the other end of his aggression. I don't make it a habit but I do reward them with additional computer time or maybe a new game when I see a total change in behavior towards being a better being to others.

 

Positive reinforcement of good behavior like rewards and other treats work much better than punishment to fix problems which would otherwise be difficult to eradicate. I tried that kind of stuff with my 3-yr old niece when she stayed with me and realized that when I promised to get her something good in the evening [I always went shopping each evening] she'd not be that troublesome. Anytime she started acting up, I'd remind her of what she'd miss and that would calm her down instantly.

It works.

 

I think positive reinforcement is a great way to improve your kid's behavior, just be careful to only do it when it's something really big, otherwise he will expect a reward for every single thing he does, and he'd better learn early that that's not how the world works

 

Positive re-enforcement has to be something the kid values, if not it will not work. I have had one grandson tell me he didn't care if he got the treat or not when he was reminded that if he kept up his current behavior he would miss out. My treat was not important to him, he wanted to keep doing what he was doing.

 

If there's positive reinforcement, I believe there should be the other side of the coin. There are times when positive reinforcement reaches a point where the kid relies on it too much just to get the treats. I'm not saying it may happen to all children, but it does occur in some. That's why there's always the other side - i.e. the reward isn't ALWAYS there. That, and when they make mistakes, they should have some sort of reprimanding, no matter how small.

 

It depends on the family and how they are with negative behaviours. In our house, the kids will learn their lessons through natural consequences. Their "punishment" is the negative that comes from their actions and their positive reinforcement is the good that comes from their actions. I've raised them with the utmost respect, so i wouldn't do to them, what I wouldn't do to an adult. People shouldn't be rewarded with money or "stuff" for things that they should be doing naturally. I buy things for my children because they need them or want them, not because they held back from being aggressive. In my opinion, it puts too much importance into material things and seeking the "gold stars" throughout life. But again, it depends on how they're being parented in general.

 

I like to do this as well and I do believe it works, but I think it's best to be careful that these gifts don't turn into bribes, because in that case then it wouldn't be much help to the behavior in a long term but instead just as something temporary since whether child gets what he or she wants then he or she will be free to act differently again and it would only serve as practice for the behavior that they will have when they are older.

 

Positive reinforcement like this is so much more effective, especially in the long run, than punishing negative behavior is. Something that I liked to do was to keep a box filled with several small items that I would pick up for cheap whenever I came across them. I find a set of ball and jacks on sale, buy it and put it in the box. So then, whenever I was faced with a behavior that I really wanted to reinforce, I was able to do it right then and there on the spot, instead of having to drive to the store and explain it to the child. This is particularly helpful with very young children.

 

Positive reinforcement, as other have said, can be very effective. However, positive reinforcement doesn't always have to be material. It can be compliments, appreciation, high fives, hugs, etc. If your child would benefit from a visual component to the positive reinforcement try filling up a clear jar with puff balls or glass stones (depending on age) that they get when they have done something well that you would be giving them the verbal positive reinforcement for. You can have a goal for when the jar is full, or half-full depending on how big the jar is, or set your own achievement marks. I like tying these to activities rather than items, such as cooking together, going to the zoo, going to a special park, getting to play with a toy that has been removed when negative behaviors showed up, etc.

 

I have four children aged 15, 9, 3 and 16 months. Obviously the baby doesn't display bad behavior yet and he is a bit young to understand a reward system. With the others, if they are good all week, I let them choose a magazine to buy from the local shop on Friday. This encourages them to read too.

 

I think positive reinforcement is only a good idea once in a while. I feel like a child will keep expecting more every time they do such as little as picking up a tissue on the floor. They might try to make a room dirty on purpose just to clean it up, so they can get a toy on television that they want.

 

Research has shown that for any relationship there should be 5 positive interactions to every 1 negative interaction to have the best results. This can be really hard to do, but simple things like smiles, laughing, and hugs count. Like Peninha said, we can't always complain and be negative, that will only teach our children to do and be the same. If we want them to have a positive attitude it needs to be reinforced from their parents and the other people in their environment.

 

I have the habit of giving rewards to the kids when they behave very well. It makes me and the kids feel very happy. I mostly enjoy giving chocolates and new toys to the kids when they perform exceptionally well in academic. Also, I believe that they perform very well when we decide to give them some kind of incentive for good behaviour or performance. Itis an advantage on both sides and works well for both of us.

 

Great post! I, personally, am not the greatest fan of "over-the-top celebrations" in any form really. I guess you could call me "simple", but I just never really enjoyed much of the "flare and flashiness" that's usually associated with having big and extravagant celebrations.
And, as you probably guessed it, this same thought process applies for me to the idea of rewarding kids (or anyone for that matter) for their good performance or good behavior. Yes, I do believe that everyone should be commended heartily for his/her improved performance, or for simply "doing the right thing" on occasion, but I don't think that on every occasion in which my child were to behave well, that I should reward such with an material gift, and I'm not saying that those who practice this are wrong per se.
I think that it's more important to give vocal reinforcements to your kids, letting them know that they will be commended for doing well, but that they should make it a lifestyle, rather than encouraging them to do it for the sole purpose of getting a reward.
No, it's not necessarily an unavoidable result of giving a child a reward regularly, that they will become "spoilt", but I do think that this particular practice heightens the chance of that happening.
Gifts and celebrations to reward a child's behavior are both great, but they should be administered in moderation, so that they know the lesson behind the reward, and so that these positive practices that we're rewarding, become them.

 

I don't really see anything wrong with it, I mean, it does help them understand that they can be rewarded for good behavior. But I wouldn't be doing it all the time because I wouldn't want the child to become spoiled, which they would if you did it every single time they did something worth mentioning.