How much time we can't accompany our friend because they are going to someplace we can't afford? Why not speak to them and arrange activities in which we actually don't spend money, but just hang out with each others? It's time to realize what matters, what we do or who we are with?
I think a lot of times people are just like big kids. They are so happy and proud with whatever they are doing, so much so that they can't quite see that their friends would also like to participate or be part of whatever is going on. I was once living in a very stressful place and desperately looking for a better flat. An acquaintance of mine who had just inherited a cottage in the country from his grandmother, told me over and over how wonderful his new place was, and how peaceful. One day he even said: "You would really love my place, it's just what you always wanted." I couldn't understand why he didn't offer me a room when he knew that I was getting ill from all the stress. I actually asked him, and he told me that he needed his own space.
I save money very often, and I do so for these certain reasons. I only spend a lot of money when I'm out with my best friends. I spend money on leisure trips and expensive restaurants when I meet up with my best friends. I spend on affordable food when I'm alone because I only go to expensive restaurants when I'm with friends. I'd rather spend more when I'm with companions rather than for myself alone.
That person was not really your friend and to be honest many many people are like that, they love to talk and talk, but when the time comes they worry only about themselves and not helping those who should be their friends. It's a sad reality. I also do that angelica, if there's something I want or is important to me I save so that I can do it, but at the same time we should also be with friends without spending money.
I think you need to be honest with your friends, just say "I can't really afford to do that x activity, do you guys want to do y activity instead sometime?" They will understand why you can't go with them and be glad that they can do something else with you some other time. If you just refuse to accompany them somewhere, they might interpret that as you distancing yourself and end up not inviting you at all anymore.
Lately my friends and I have taken to cooking in for ourselves, rather than going out to dinner at a restaurant. We all chip in for the cost of food, and typically even have leftovers. It's incredibly fun because we like to try out fun, new recipes we wouldn't likely do on our own. It's fun to cook and clean and eat together, and you save quite a bit of money. We even will make cocktails at a much less cost, too
Oakster, yes, I was not saying about refusing, especially with friends we should be open and tell them what's happening. There you go Galadriel, that's a really good idea, instead of going out to dinner just gather at someone's place, cook dinner and share expenses, great!
I have no problem telling my friends that I'm on a budget when they ask me to go out with them. They never take it personally when I can't come with them. They also know me so well that they also don't bother to invite me when they are aware that I don't like such hangout destinations, like watching unknown local bands for example.
I don't have a problem either, but at the same time I'd like to join them. Sure, I don't want them to stop doing stuff because of me, but I'd love that sometimes we could just hang out doing something inexpensive.
