Should Kids Or Parents Pay For College?

Discussion in Savings & Investments Plans started by Sunshine • Feb 28, 2015.

  1. Sunshine

    SunshineActive Member

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    Whose responsibility do you think it is to pay for college? A child's or their parents?

    I paid for my college myself, working a part time job and saving extra money I didn't need from the loans I was given. I was exceptionally blessed with a high paying/tipping job, so I was able to pay back my loans in a year with money I had saved and earned. I also got a lump sum gift from my family at the end that helped me close out the loan. When I think back, it's part of what made me so responsible and made me value my education, my grades, and the wise use of money.

    Now I have a child and feel the pressure to save for his education. I will do it, but I also wonder how his experience will be different from mine if he does not earn his way himself. My husband had his education paid by his family and he doesn't value his degree or money at all, in the same way I do. However he is also very successful with that attitude, so in a strange way I wonder if that makes you believe things will be easy for you and money will just flow to you - versus my thoughts of everything being hard work.

    Who do you think should be responsible to pay for college, and why?
     
  2. JosieP

    JosiePWell-Known Member

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    This is the problem.. those who paid their own way, think the child should. Those who didn't, think the parents should. For the most part anyway. Just because one person worked their butts off to do something, doesn't mean someone else is just as capable and it's okay to want to follow another path. I personally think the parents should pay. It gives the child the best start at life without debt.. something they should not be forced into. Everyone wants that child to contribute to society in the way think is best for the child (nevermind what the child wants), but then expects them to go into debt straight away to do so. It's just not right. They will learn responsibility.. it's human.

    But that's just to choose from what you offered. I don't think either should pay.. we all have access to the same information, but we have to pay ludicrous amounts of money to learn it in a building. MANY people are educated, but deemed unworthy because of where they chose (or were forced) to read their information. Paying thousands for a piece of paper is wrong and holding so many people back that could contribute in amazing ways if they would just turn the whole system around.
     
  3. ExpertAdvice

    ExpertAdviceActive Member

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    Boy, I really love this post @Sunshine@Sunshine, You really went the provocative side of life here. My answer is, it all depends, that is, it all depends on the relationship that the child has with the parent, i.e, the level of understanding, the financial stability of the parent and so much more...such as, the temperament and the mental strength of the child, the ease at which the child can work and study, etc. Life is complex, and every situation is different from the other so it is all up to the parties involved to make the best decision from that situation.
     
  4. Feneth

    FenethActive Member

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    I agree with @ExpertAdvice@ExpertAdvice It's a really personal thing that should be talked about within a family and discussed. Our plan for our daughter's education is already beginning to play out. At the rate she's going, by the time she graduates high school, she'll have finished a two-year college degree with online classes from our local community college. We'll pay for that. A two year degree doesn't mean a whole lot these days.

    We would like her to take a gap year after high school. We think the time off would benefit her a great deal. She can work, travel, volunteer, just explore herself and her interests other than academics. I think this will help her chose a good major and something she really wants to do with her life. Right now, she likes that plan but we'll see what she decides. Regardless of whether she takes a gap year to get to know herself or goes straight into more college, we will probably assist with the tuition to some degree but we're firmly against paying the whole thing and there are conditions attached. (she still has to work, no drugs, no babies, no changing of major, and a minimum gpa)

    My personal experience includes paying for college myself and changing my major multiple times to let me take classes I was interested in that were limited by major. I LOVED taking new classes and still check out the course catalogs to see if anything interests me. These days, I just audit the classes. It's more important to me that she enjoy learning and is happy with her life plan than her exact educational goals or career.
     
  5. Theo

    TheoWell-Known Member

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    I think a student paying themselves is admirable, but it can also detract from the studies, so a parent and the state should pay. I had a grant and then decided to get a part-time job and it did affect my studies towards the end. In the UK we don't have the option to skip a semester or year.

    I know some schools don't allow their students to work more then 20 hours (Harvard) and if you are at Law school you are not allowed to work at all.
     
  6. owesem75

    owesem75Active Member

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    in our culture.. it is the parent's obligation to pay for it. It is the best gift a parent could give to his/her children. if the kid wishes to be a working student to help in his daily expenses.. it's the kid's gift to his parents. it should be this way.
     
  7. Jxhn

    JxhnNew Member

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    I will be going to college the fall of 2015. In my situation, I have always held high respect for my parents and the hard work they have done to support me and my two siblings. I think I owe it to them to pay for the majority of my college education, especially since my brother is going to college at the same time as me. As a result, I have avoided applying to prestigious schools which I know I could never afford. Its a shame too because I have always been a good student and I know that I meet the requirements, but I also have realized that this is the real world. Once I leave high school, I will no longer be babied and the world will not care much about me or my future. It is up to me to get a good education and not get into too much debt in the process. I owe it to my parents and to myself. Hopefully, someday the situation will change in the US, but for now college students need to make good decisions so that they don't end up in too much debt.
     
  8. Denis Hard

    Denis HardWell-Known Member

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    Owing to the fact that things are lot different now than they were in the past — it's much harder to get jobs which can make you some decent cash especially if you are unskilled — parents ought to pay their kids college fees.
     
  9. DrRipley

    DrRipleyExpert

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    Parents should definitely pay for college in my opinion. I don't think people who couldn't afford to send their kids to school should be having kids in the first place. As for the lessons they get from working hard, personally, I think they can build their character elsewhere without the worry and risk. I don't think everyone who works for their tuition automatically makes them better equipped or well adjusted, and vice versa. To me, it's all about family communication and upbringing, regardless of circumstances.
     
  10. Theo

    TheoWell-Known Member

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    I think most parents want to pay for their kids to go to college. I had a friend who was at college and wanted to leave and do her own art projects. I told her she had one year left to go and to hang in there as many people don't have the choices she had. She did drop out and her parents let her, but then she decided to go back when she couldn't get a job.

    On the other hand I have friends who want to go, but can't afford to go and their parents can't help.
     
  11. Winnie

    WinnieActive Member

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    Your child is an individual, so he might have a completely different mind set than you've ever imagined. It does not have to be the one that your husband has towards his education, or the one that you have towards yours.

    You and your husband probably have different thoughts about many things in life, not just about your education, and that's how life is. Your child will have his own thoughts about things as well.
    Just because you worked and therefore value your education does not mean that if your child works he will value his. He is not you, so he's going to have his own thoughts on the process. Working might make him resent his college years. Or, it might not.

    You're going to have to see how he handles things as a young adult, ask him questions, and make it safe for him to tell you the truth, to actually know how he feels about things.

    I think that depending on how a young adult is--is the key to whether they should work or not while attending college. Some people can handle it, and others can't.

    That being said, a parent should always be ready to pay for a child's higher education.
     
  12. eppie

    eppieActive Member

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    In a "perfect" world or relationship, I think whoever has the money should give support. My parents paid for my college education but I also chipped in a little on my last year since I already have a part-time job back then.

    I value money not because I've experienced working for it but also because I know how my parents worked hard for it too.

    As a parent, I agree with Winnie that parents should always be ready to give monetary support for his/her children. Obligation or not, if you love your kids then you'll give support so he/she can have a good future. :)
     
  13. Lushlala

    LushlalaWell-Known Member

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    I too agree with ExpertAdvice, I think he hit the nail on the head. But it's extra hard for me to say, because in Botswana your university fees are paid for by the state. In fact, education is free from primary school through to university. The government will even pay for education in the US, UK, Australia or wherever else the qualification is if it's not offered locally, providing they believe it'll ultimately add something to the economy. It's got a lot stricter now, because kids take it for granted and mess around. It's now 2 strikes and you're on your own, if you fail you then have to start paying your way; which I think is perfectly fair. In my time, there were people who made being in uni a career, they just stayed there repeating year after year and the government would continue paying for them!

    If I had the money though, I would want to pay for my child's university fees; in the absence of state grants/scholarships.
     
  14. MrsJones

    MrsJonesActive Member

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    I wasn't able to pay for my youngest son's college education and he was well aware of that. So he was bright enough to look out for scholarships and grants himself and professors also signed him up for other grants for him to continue his education to receive his Bachelor's degree.

    I feel though if I was able to contribute I would have.
     
  15. Zyni

    ZyniWell-Known Member

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    It depends. There are a lot of things to take into account, if you ask me, so there really isn't a cut and dry answer. Not all parents can afford to pay for college, for one thing. For another, a child who could have easily earned a full ride but blew off studies towards the end of high school, should probably pay their own way in order to learn more responsibility. There are just so many things that could come into play here that's it's difficult to give a simple this or that answer.
     
  16. DancingLady

    DancingLadyActive Member

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    I think the kids should pay as much as possible and parents should help if needed. Bottom line, graduating with dept ahold not be considered an option in my opinion. If it takes more than 4 years to finish in order to not take loans, then that's the best option. Or look at other career options like learning a trade.
     
  17. CoolCat

    CoolCatMember

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    This is a tricky topic, but ultimately I think a lot is decided by what your family can afford. If you have a lot of debt or your retirement isn't looking like it will be funded, I don't think you should be paying for your kids' tuition. If you are in a stable position and you have been able to set money aside, then that's great.

    My college experience was paid for entirely with student loans, both in my name and my parents'. When I was in high school my parents told me I should go wherever I wanted and study whatever I wanted without looking at the price tag. I had no concept of how much my education was costing me at the time or what it would mean for my finances later. The good news for me is that I'm a great student. I ended up graduating with high honors from a public (though out of state) university and getting paid to do a masters. I make enough money that I'm able to pay extra on my student loans each month.

    My parents, on the other hand, have a ridiculous amount of loans between my two brothers and myself. They knew what they were getting themselves into when they took out the loans, and they don't have a problem making the payments, but that's not the life I want for myself or my future kids.

    My husband and I have discussed it a little (though we don't have kids yet), and what we will probably do is agree to pay the cost of in state tuition and living expenses. If they want to go out of state or to a private school, then they can work part time and during the summer (starting in high school) to pay for the difference. They will be well informed about the starting salary of their chosen profession, the job market, and the cost of student loans before they make a decision about where to go in college.
     
  18. LokiLoki

    LokiLokiNew Member

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    As a young adult I personally think its a great idea to encourage your kids to pay for their college themselves, get the loan and be responsible, but also save to help them pay off their loans at the end. I feel like it would encourage young adults to be responsible with their money and to value working hard for their grades if they know they're only getting the financial help from you if they graduate.

    This of course is speculation though. I don't have kids and I didn't get help paying for my tuition outside of student loans... which I am still paying back. It would have been nice to graduate and have help bringing down the cost.
     
  19. clairebeautiful

    clairebeautifulActive Member

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    My parents paid for my college, but I helped by earning scholarships and working on campus all four years. My husband's parents helped him as much as they could, but he ended up taking out tons of loans.

    Considering the way we each started our young career lives, him with all his debt, and me without, we've decided collectively to save now to put our own (four) children through college. It has been the best gift anyone has ever given me. And I think BECAUSE my parents gave me that gift (rather than debt) I am in a much better position to pay it on to my children.
     
  20. xTinx

    xTinxWell-Known Member

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    It depends on the family's financial circumstances. If you come from a family living below the poverty line, with a household income less than your yearly tuition, then you can't force your parents to work their heads off and pay for everything. At the age of 18, you're already capable of working yourself so it would be good to split the bill between you and your parents. More heads are better than one, right? Or get a scholarship if you can. However, if your family is wealthy enough, then just do your part by getting good grades. Compensate them later on by landing a decent job or putting up your own business.