My rule about loaning money to friends in family is simple: Don't loan anything that you are expecting back. We all know that sometimes these "loans" don't get paid back so don't risk what you can't or don't want to lose. Of course sometimes they do get paid back and it is always appreciated when this happens.
Very true. I had a friend a few years back that wanted to get her son an xbox for Christmas and didn't have a credit card to do so. I knew her son well and he is such a good kid that I talked to my husband and said - I will buy it for him and if she pays me back as she says she will...great; and if not....Merry Christmas to him! It is difficult to say no, but I have had to do it when my family doesn't have the money to do so. But if we are in a position to help out and are okay with the fact that we may not get it back; then we will do what we can. *Side note....it ended up being Merry Christmas to him since I never did see the money!*
My husband just recently got into a fight with his friend over money, except that it wasn't a loan. His friend was supposed to buy him something and send it to him, but he never saw the money or the thing he was supposed to buy, and then his friend wanted to keep calling him to chat like nothing was amiss. Friends will do that. My husband thought it was okay because it wasn't supposed to be a loan at all, but it turned out exactly the same, and he'll probably never see that money (or that friend) again.
I learned a long time ago, that if you can'r afford to "give" your friend or who ever the money then don't do it. If they can't pay you back, or have a hard time paying you back it is just going to cause problems in the future.
I believe that you should give friends money without expecting to get it back. That way if something happens then you don't lose a friendship. It depends on the amount as well. If it is a large amount, I couldn't anyways because more than likely we don't have it. I won't give money if it is going to hurt me financially though. I've got to think about my family first.
I never loan money to anyone that I can't afford to lose. I don't have an expectation of being paid back and this helps to eliminate the strain if the friend/family member can't repay. I view the "loan" as a gift and if I get some of it back, then it's a bonus. I feel as though this is the only acceptable approach that will keep money from coming in between relationships.
The only time I have loaned my friends money is when the amount was lower than $50, because more than likely I know they will not pay me back. I would never loan my friends over $50. However, at least 75 percent of my friends has repaid the money they have borrowed from me, but I still would not loan them over $50.
This is really fantastic advice and tips being shared. I guess this boils down once again to the saying of money being the root of all evil? It really is hard to reject a friend or family member's request for loans and my stand is that if it is a small amount that I can comfortably live without, I'll take it as a gift to them but of course I wouldn't verbally acknowledge this that they don't have to repay the amount. I never believe in converting loans into gifts but since it is a small amount, I can make do without it so if I really don't get repaid, feelings would not be hurt. If I do get the money back, it is not just a bonus, but it also enforces the relationship between both parties involved. For large sums, it really depends on what the money is going to be used for. If it is for education and healthcare, I will be more than willing to lend the money as long as I can manage it. But I also will make it known that the sum is not small so I would expect to be paid in parts at least. I feel that when terms are made known and understood, it would be easier to resolve any conflicts should they arise in the future.
I don't loan any kind of money to my friends for most of the time. Although when I do give money to my friends, I give them what I can afford to lose and I don't expect them to pay me back because as far as I'm concerned, they don't for the most part. :\
I like to help my friends whenever possible. I have one good friend to whom I would give even my car. We always borrow money one from each other and never had a problem, even if we delayed the return with a month or so. I can say we rely on each other. And I loaned money to other friends too and always got it back without even asking. It all depends on what kind of people you have as friends.
I have 2 old cliches for this question... #1: Don't loan anything you can't afford to lose. #2: If you loan someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it. So it really depends on the amount, how close you are to the person, and how much it would hurt you to lose them forever. It's hard to imagine ending a friendship over $20, but if you lose trust for them, you lose everything. Just keep that in mind.
I do not usually lend money to friends except for those who have been my friend for more than 10 years and that means a friend of mine since high school. I also lend money to some family members whenever they need it and when I know that they have the capabilities to pay me.
My husband's side of the family is worse off on that than my side of the family. I wouldn't loan anyone on his side of the family anything... They are takers, not gives. My family on the other hand... I do not have that problem. I suppose different people are brought up differently. I can understand why some people stay away from borrowing from or lending too family members. It can cause a lot of drama when promises are not kept and money is not returned.
This is trouble waiting to happen. I think it's a noble thing to do - to agree to help financially. But, when you consider yourself "rather poor," that just means that you really can and should be spending your own money on things for you and your family. When there is a history of "only one has given me the money back," then I think that you should reconsider how you help people. I think that you should be more careful, only offering money when you either a) can truly afford to or b) are 100% sure that you will get the money back. If not, there are other ways to help a friend out. Sometimes, it's not the monetary help they need, but a real friend to listen, to encourage, to critique, etc.
Loaning money to friends and/or family. This is a really tricky and hard topic here. I agree it is something you should really think about before making a decision. Of course, we all want to help out our friends and family in their time of need, but we have to first make sure we can do without that money in order to help them. Also, the big question, will they pay it back or will you have to be reminding them over and over and in the process, making yourself feel quilty for asking about when they will pay you back. This is just all way around a very touchy topic. I have loaned friends and family both money at one time in my life, but I have to say it was something that I don't think I will ever do again. I actually felt bad whenever I would ask if they could pay me a part of what they owed me if not all of it,and there would be a lot of problems. I think if a friend or family member needed help and I could help them without depriving myself or my kids, I think I would just let them have it and maybe sometime down the road they may be able to do the same for me one day. Either way it is really hard to have to be in a situation like this.
My father's side of the family are also the same. They are takers and not givers. They think that my mother is hogging all the salary that my dad gets when in fact she isn't. Another thing that I get really upset with is that my dad is supposed to give us everything because we are his family and the quality of living here in our country is really hard that's why we need every penny we can get our hands on.
Loaning money to family and friends is always a risky business, because there is nothing worse than money coming between two people who are close if they are unable to pay it back. My advice is, as others have always said, only lend the amount you are willing to lose. As in, when you give it out don't expect it back. This may seem easy but it means *if* they don't pay you back, you will only have to deal with your angry feelings and not be destitute too. If a family member or friend gets a reputation for borrowing and not paying back - don't lend again! You have to be cruel to be kind, and that means not being a doormat.
If you find a reliable friend.you can take a loan from him.But if it deals more money than you should arrange an agreement for loan that is very much benefited for you and repay his loan according to yours agreement.
I've loaned money to family and friends and what I've learned is this, only loan them money you can afford to lose. So if they need a $100 just loan them $20. This way you don't feel bad when they don't pay you or take forever to pay you. Honestly they will take forever to pay you because you get last priority on their list because the loan from you does not earn interest.
