staying neutral

Discussion in Off Topic Discussion & General Questions started by Libragirl67 • Apr 29, 2013.

  1. Libragirl67

    Libragirl67Active Member

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    What would you do if you had a friend who shared different religious views as you? And they were constantly trying to push their belief system on you. Or talk 24/ 7 about there views. What if you still wanted to be this persons friend but are tired of the sermons?
     
  2. JosieP

    JosiePWell-Known Member

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    I would just let them know that you respect their beliefs, but you don't share them. Remind them that they didn't come to their own thoughts lightly and neither did you.. they wouldn't change their mind on what's been said a million times, nor would you. If anyone converts, it's supposed to be through enlightenment.. some sort of journey to get there. I would tell them too that you know religion has come between the best of friends, family and countries and you'd rather that not happen to the two of you so maybe religion should be off the topics list.
     
  3. ozadin

    ozadinActive Member

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    Tell your friend what you feel.
    If you don't want to convert to his/her religion, tell them to stop and you don't feel comfortable talking about it.
    Tell her you don't want to switch.
     
  4. Nick2011

    Nick2011Active Member

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    I have no friends. I have people who I hang around or associate with. Or entertain, and they entertain me. And vice versa. I don't believe in "friends". Carries too much unnecessary responsibility. If I were you, I'd give them an ultimatum. Religious people are like that. When you alert them to you being not religious, they immediately feel a need to pitch their religion to you. Somehow I think religious people have it in their heads, that they win points in heaven for each person they convert to their respective religion. It's quite amusing.
     
  5. Lilley1

    Lilley1Member

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    That is a very tough situation. The friend is obviously very passionate about their faith which is respectful. Its too bad they may not see past it to notice the harmful effects it may have on friendships. Do you think its possible they don't see themselves as pushing their beliefs?

    I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I'd probably just keep changing the subject until they got the hint. I value friendships and am afraid of hurting feelings so I tend to take the easier (or chicken) way out.
     
  6. zoeysmama2011

    zoeysmama2011Active Member

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    The best thing you can do is to stay neutral but also express your feelings to your friend. Constantly being badgered about someone's beliefs can be frustrating and exhausting.

    I had a friend like what you're describing and I always just sat and listened to her lecture me about religion. I never said anything and our friendship ended with me lashing out at her. So much resentment had built up because I never spoke up about how judgmental and narrow- minded she was being.

    I would encourage you to be honest with your friend. If he or she is a true friend they will understand.
     
  7. Nick2011

    Nick2011Active Member

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    What kills me about religious people is they ignore the ills of the world and are just living in this bubble where God the almighty can do no wrong and is altogether perfect. It's amazing. It's like they don't watch the news.
     
  8. Rocky

    RockyMember

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    I would tell them that I respect their religion but do not appreciate it being pushed on me. Try to get them to see the situation from your perspective...how would they feel if you pushed your religion/beliefs on them day after day. They may not even be aware that this bothers you and is unhelpful and irritating to your friendship.
     
  9. BrianWolfe

    BrianWolfeMember

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    Tell your friend that while you respect his/her religion, you do not want it to get in the way of a good friendship. Wars have been fought over religion, and you want to ensure you have a mutual understanding with your friend. I grew up in a multi-cultural, multi-religious country and my friends and I have an understanding; we never, never discuss religion and politics. Anything else is fine. Perhaps you could (very slowly) introduce this concept to your friend?
     
  10. taskeinc

    taskeincMember

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    I've had friends and relatives who have tried to proselytize to me in the past. It usually only happens once because when I begin to point out, with cosmological and astronomical facts that clearly show, we're not alone in the universe. I present data that points out there are between 200-400 billion Suns in the Milky Way galaxy, just like our Sun, and a good percentage of these Suns have planetary systems around them, like our Solar System. This means that we can't be alone; that we are not the only thinking beings in the universe. Then I ask, what does this do to your religious story? They no longer want to talk to me, and the next time they see me, religion is the last subject they want to bring up.
     
  11. Lilley1

    Lilley1Member

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    I'm sure you lost them in your first statement referring to cosmological and astronomical facts. It can be quite difficult keeping an intellectual conversation going when you lack the knowledge. Ignorance is bliss. ;)
     
  12. taskeinc

    taskeincMember

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    Yes, that's pretty much when I lose them. I recently had a conversation with a relative with fundamentalist beliefs. I reiterated to him that I was not trying to alter his views but I suggested to him, the next time you're out on a clear night, look up at the sky. Locate the Big Dipper, the brightest star, at the top right corner of the Big Dipper is Dubhe. Dubhe, aka Alpha Ursae Majoris, is one of the pointer stars that point to the North Star. It's a yellow giant star about 123 light years away (123 multiplied by 6 trillion). It's 100 times brighter than the Sun and the brightest star in Ursa Major (The Big Dipper). Dubhe can be viewed year round in the Northern Hemisphere.

    I mentioned this to point out the fact that there is no way we are alone in the universe. You have a Sun, like our Sun, except it's 100 times brighter, that is certainly sustaining all kind of life, as our Sun sustains life here on Earth.

    He then looks at me like I'm crazy and changes the subject.

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    #12May 8, 2013
    Last edited: May 8, 2013
  13. kshultz06082

    kshultz06082New Member

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    There is only one friend that I will discuss religious topics with because we can have a civilized discussion even if we disagree. For everyone else, I have a firm rule that I stick to. That rule is "I will not discuss religion or politics". If the topic comes up, I firmly state that I do not discuss religion or politics as they are personal beliefs and should be kept that way. If the person insists on continuing with the discussion, I firmly state that I have my beliefs and they have theirs and I will not be part of this conversation. Then, I either walk away (depending on the situation) or change the topic.
     
  14. kshultz06082

    kshultz06082New Member

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    LMAO! Who knew Heaven gave referral points!
     
  15. BlackSolaris

    BlackSolarisActive Member

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    I have a similar line of thought. I only have one friend, and the rest is all colleagues or work partners. And that one friend, even if he has different religion beliefs than me, we all agree that it's a complicated thing and we accept each other's beliefs.
     
  16. MaraJadeC

    MaraJadeCMember

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    I have a friend like that..but I guess we're already EXTREMELY close that I can actually say straight to his face, "There you go again!" We just laugh about it and talk about something else. I hope you are in the same situation as mine. :)
     
  17. busybee

    busybeeNew Member

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    It's a rather hard situation. You have to respect that they have different views to you but you also don't want them to push their views onto you. If you are very close to your friend I guess you could tell them it bothers you. They may back off a little.
     
  18. sidney

    sidneyWell-Known Member

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    Ah that's easy. I'll definitely tell that friend to stop making me listen to his or her sermons, because if he or she doesn't stop, then I would be forced to stop hanging out with him or her. And if he or she didn't stop, then he or she shouldn't be surprised if I start to stay away.
     
  19. JessiFox

    JessiFoxActive Member

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    I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to stay quiet.
    I would politely tell them that while I find them perfectly lovely overall, our religious views just don't mesh and aren't the highlight of our friendship, so I'd rather not discuss them very often.
    If that didn't work, I might try and reverse it on them...though I would likely annoy myself before it had a chance to take effect on them :p.
     
  20. Anna Blush

    Anna BlushActive Member

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    I feel like the only thing I would do is tell them how I honestly feel with a different tone so they truly understand.
    I would just tell them the whole honest truth without sugar coating everything,
    If they wouldn't respect my feelings than I guess this isn't my true friend at the end of the day.