What to do when you dislike your family.

Discussion in Off Topic Discussion & General Questions started by sarahlou773 • Sep 1, 2012.

  1. sidney

    sidneyWell-Known Member

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    I also dislike my family and how they have showed their ugly side through the years. They're so fake and immature, and are a bunch of liars. But on the outside we look like just any normal family. So to answer your question, if you dislike your family, you are in no way obligated to help them or talk to them. You can instantly cut ties with them if you like.
     
  2. sking61

    sking61Member

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    I don't show up at family functions that are foolishness. I like to spend time with my parents on brief occasion. Although I do love them very much.
     
  3. ozadin

    ozadinActive Member

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    Family issues and family abuse are two different things. Issues like no allowance, no video games, are not the same as physical abuse. I don't think anyone would hate their parents if they took away their phone or a want from their life. Abuse on the other hand is a serious thing. I would most likely stay away from my parents if they abused me in any way.
    I once heard from someone "as a parent I would be rather hated than loved". This quote makes a lot of sense since parents are supposed to be strict instead of being their friends. Being strict ensures that your child won't do anything stupid.
     
  4. dorothymoreno

    dorothymorenoActive Member

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    I love all of my family, they don't always make me happy with what they may say or do, but I love them very much and would never consider not having them in my life. I also have some good friends that I love as if they were family. I also have some negative relatives in my family but I don't let it come between us. My family is the most important part of my life, I would never disown them or not spend time with them, We may not always see eye to eye, but that doesn't matter..
     
  5. smilekill

    smilekillNew Member

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    Family's are all the same .some family always have problems and even other family's have problem with their earning all you have to do is tolerate all the pain,because this pain may become memory after few years
     
  6. Clightted

    ClighttedNew Member

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    when i got angry with one of my family, i try to forget it with hanging out with my friend :D
     
  7. ACSAPA

    ACSAPAWell-Known Member

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    You're making the person who dislikes their family sound like the bad guy. That's unfair because some families are abusive, negative and unsupportive.
    If you don't have a loving family, it's more healthy to limit your interactions with them so that they don't bring you down or destroy you emotionally.
     
  8. ACSAPA

    ACSAPAWell-Known Member

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    Your family sounds like my family. I think it's important to have a support system, but emotional support can come from friends. It annoys me when people say that you have to love your family no matter what.
    If your family are a bunch of jerks that treat you badly and try to sabotage everything you do, you can cut them off and go on to live a happy life.
     
  9. kshultz06082

    kshultz06082New Member

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    I consider myself to have 3 families, the good, the bad, and family by choice.

    Of those 3, two of the categories have my undying loyalty. "The Bad" are lucky that they even get a category. I know some people cannot understand how someone can just drop a part of their family, but I will happily explain why I have chosen to do this. The main reason is that they add nothing of value to my life. They are actually the exact opposite in what they add. This may sound selfish, but it is actually self-preservation. They have abused me, lied to me, back-stabbed me, and have no concern for anyone but themselves. It took me 30+ years to realize how much of a negative impact they have on my life, but I am just happy that I did realize it. I explained in a VERY long letter to them exactly why I have chosen to disconnect from their part of my bloodline. Their response was to make themselves the victim and me the bad guy as they have done all my life. I am happy that I have it in writing so I can remind myself exactly how awful they are anytime I even consider reconnecting with them.

    My other 2 families, the good and the family by choice, are full of incredible people. If they need help with anything, I am right there to help. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for them and they for me. To me, bloodline means very little in a family. Blood may be thicker than water, but I don't care. I want quality in my life not quantity. Sure, birthday parties and all those type things might have more people at them if I chose to have the other half of my family participate, but I would rather have a few people and a great time than a ton of people and a stress-inducing, miserable time!
     
  10. JessiFox

    JessiFoxActive Member

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    Unfortunately a lot of our family is like that -on both sides. They are selfish, manipulative, deceitful, dramatic and generally not that pleasant to be around. Oh, and they'll take advantage of anyone...especially family...but not want to help out for their own part. Not all of them are like this but many are. We still tried for quite a bit but honestly we want to surround ourselves with people who enrich our lives, not add drama and little else.
     
  11. brittanyt28

    brittanyt28Member

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    Some of us get great families, others not so great. We can't pick and choose in this regard, but we can make the choice to whether we want to be around them or not. I love my family, but on the whole, I love my southern side the best, because they are good stock.
     
  12. Mercy77

    Mercy77Member

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    I love all of my family but dislike a couple of my siblings because of things they've done and because of differences in religion and clashes of characters. I'm not a hypocrite, so I stay away from the ones that I dislike, I don't go to their home to visit, I don't even know where they live. They on the other hand know where I'm at and are always welcome to visit me. I've always been there for them when they've needed my help. After all, family is family and blood is thicker than water and I might dislike some of them, but I love them.
     
  13. kitkat0124

    kitkat0124Active Member

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    I'm so glad I'm so close with my family.I never remember any incident of big arguments in our family. I know some who don't, to the point of despising each other. I can't imagine myself not being close with them. I'm willing to do anything for them and I know they will do the same. I made mistakes in the past, but they show me love and acceptance and I will be forever grateful.
     
  14. Sondra

    SondraNew Member

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    In this situation i will suggest you to keep thinking positive and remember the fun you have with your families so it will helps you to feel good with them.
     
    #34Sep 21, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2013
  15. RomanAnthonysMama

    RomanAnthonysMamaMember

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    I have family members who are very snotty and stuck up at times. If it were up to me, I would not attend social gatherings with them. Why bother? If they act like they're too good for me, then they can have one less member to spend holidays with while I'm off with people who enjoy my company! :) Unfortunately, I have a family member who feels obliged to conform to these certain family member's wishes, so I just go to please that one person.
     
  16. deansaliba

    deansalibaActive Member

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    I booked a weekend in Manchester to see my girlfriend, that normally helps. My family is very female dominated and they are all rather bitchy and they hate the fact that at 35 I have financial security, make my own living, and don't have any children. They are also asking for money, telling me to get a proper job and calling me lazy because I don't have to get up at 5am like they do.
     
  17. JosieP

    JosiePWell-Known Member

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    Absolutely! Family is only family if they act like it. I only allow people into my life if they add to it now. If you drain my energy in any way, shape or form, I just can't waste my time. I make every effort to live a happy life now, something I always tried to do for others and not myself my entire life.. it's mine and my children's time now.
     
  18. Farrah

    FarrahActive Member

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    I do my best to stay away from drama. Life is just too short. People aren't going to change just because we want them to or even of they really should. So, I just do my best to keep my distance.
     
  19. isabbbela

    isabbbelaWell-Known Member

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    That is hard... I love everyone to death from my mom's side, but from my dad's side I only like my grandma and aunt. Everyone else I would honestly rather not meet.
    It's hard! Specially when they are members of your close family, there is no way: you simply need to learn to live with them!
     
  20. Annetteb

    AnnettebActive Member

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    I love my family, but there are some of them I really don't like. I try to ignore these feelings and not let them show. I don't think that id awise decision on my part. I think about telling them how I feel, but I don't want to hurt their feelings(even though they don't cate about my feelings).