I dislike most of my family members, I would not want them in my presence. I don't really care for family like I used because I have been down on my luck and was on the brink of living at a homeless shelter. I asked countless of family members if I could stay with them until I move into my place and some told me no because they don't allow people to live with them and their families and others came up with an excuse. From that point on, my whole perspective of family changed. That was the second time I reached out for help and no one was there. I am always giving and I got tired of helping others when no one is there for me. Someone I went to high school with who I barely knew allowed me to live with them. So, yeah I just don't deal with family.
I just don't talk to anyone until I'm not angry anymore. I try not think about them altogether. Every family reunion it almost the same shit! Somebody always gets drunk and demands attention by some long forgotten incident. I stopped going to the reunions a couple of years back and still they i was brought up. They actually thought I am better than them for not showing up. I realized it is much easier to talk them when they are alone and sober!
Right now I really don't like my oldest brother. He keeps saying we need to do more for our mom, but he doesn't include himself in that because he doesn't do anything. He likes to talk at people instead of to them. He doesn't listen to what you say to him. He only hears what he wants to. I just don't like seeing him and I wouldn't get to worried if I only got the occasional phone call from him.
Surprisingly dysfunctinal families you people live in. I've never had issues with any of my close relatives. Distant relatives I hardly talk enough with do have any issues. I always thought that having a nice simple non-complicated was a lot more commonplace. Turns out I was wrong.
To me, family will always be family. I have lived away from my family for years, and during that time we have all grown in different directions. There are a lot of things we don't agree on, and a lot of areas where we don't see eye to eye. But we still get together for holidays and everything is peaceful. I think the reason IS because we're not around each other all the time. One thing that never changes, though, is that if one of us is in need or in a crisis, we all come together to help. There's one family member who has burned us pretty bad, and we'll probably never do anything to help him again. But I still call and check on him to make sure he's o.k. and if he needed help I would try to find a way to help him without him knowing where it came from! I guess my point is that no matter what, we love each other.
I don't have much of a family. I haven't seen my father's side in years because they're mostly insufferable people. It hurts sometimes to cut him out of my life because he is my father but I know that I'm better off without him. I tried reaching out to him years later. Nothing had changed. I still have that lingering sense of regret but I know I at least tried to tell him how I feel so I need to realize that I have nothing to feel bad about because he is the one with the problem. I have my mom and that's about it but I really need to move out because we often butt heads. She has ADD so that makes it hard sometimes and she can be sensitive/emotional about things. I think it will be better if I leave. I just don't know when I'll be able to.
I totally agree that family is only family if they act like it. I've had houseparents at orphanages that I lived in treat me better than my biological mother did. If your family doesn't have your back, and they don't care about your well being, and they are a drain on you, you're better off without them. You're not obligated to allow them into your life just because you're related to them.
It takes a lot to dislike my own family. I like my family, which I think it is one of the least things I can do. I think it depends on what situation you run into, and it depends on what have you or your family done to create such disliking. If I dislike my family, I usually don't talk to them until the problem gets dissolved.
What would I do? I'll try to love them just the way they are. You know, at the end of the day, it is always your family who will stand with you at the darkest hour of your life. I can't imagine my life without them. I wouldn't be here where I am today without them.
It can be difficult dealing with some family members but they are family and for family oriented people like myself i deal with them individually, on different levels. We dont have to be the best of friends but we do have to be civil to one another. That's just my opinion. I know some people who treat their family members like a regular stranger.
