I recently moved back in with my mom. I had 'moved out' in my early 20's (mostly because "nobody in their 20's lives with their parents " my cool friends say), but "had" to move back in when the only apartment I could afford to live-in got over-infested with bed-bugs. I can't afford to live anywhere, because my Brain-Injury makes me "socially unacceptable" (if I spend too much time with people, I start acting like they're my "family"). And I thought my condition was unique. But looking-upLog In, I read that 'my generation' (Generation X, which I also barely qualify for) is also known as The Peter Pan Generation or the Boomerang Generation because we ALL were hit with 'conditions' that made us move back in with our parents. (And yes, I know we didn't ALL move back in or -stay in with our parents; but it's no "unique action"!) Looking for more on 'Log In' (convenient: children of Boomers, we're the Boomerangers ), I found that it's more-&-more normal (like living-together-before-marriage, and/or pre-marital bed-sharing). And why would I move out? The only reason is the one the Bible gives in the book ofLog In, saying "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." So--still single--it looks like I'll be staying here until my wife & I find each other (tho my sister AND HER HUSBAND, AND THEIR TWO CHILDREN were living here with my mom almost like I am now ... even though they were both gainfully employed as well ) How did it ever change from that?
Parents before the 70s were different, they had simple lives and made sure everyone was looked after. These days it is about what latest gadget you have, where you live and credit was more readily available and most people I know do live in debt and it catches up with you when you get ill or lose your job. Besides that the cost of living is so high, utility bills cost more than the rent at times and you look at additional bills like mobile phones and internet which are more important for a younger generation. I moved back to my parents and there was no internet and they didn't want it. Fortunately my brother decided to pay for me and so he could use it when he visited, so the priorities among the generations have changed, thus most parents are sensible and have paid off their home and don't need to worry about the rent.
Seems more-efficient now, doesn't it? Like back when your income was basically "fun-money" because all the utilities & stuff were handled by them.
Yes I have. I want to be independent. I also wanted to experience how is it to earn, budget and used my own money without asking from your parents. Also it is a way for me to prepare myself to the future and to have my own family. Living on my own teaches me how to be more responsible in my decisions and actions.
I'm 22 and I still live with my parents. I actually want to move out now and be independent, but my parents are a bit doubting if I'll do fine without their guidance, they are still acting like I'm 12 or something. Maybe because I'm their youngest child and the only girl in the family. But financially, I am independent now. I don't ask money from them anymore when I go out or when I need to buy something. I also help with household chores and help them pay the bills. But yes, maybe in the near future, they'll be able to let me go, hopefully.
When people consider or start moving away from their parents, it only means one thing: independence. Attitudes with regard to moving away differ from one culture to another. In most Asian countries, moving away isn't necessary. Hence, many Asian and Latino families live within a single compound or in a place not too far from their relatives. Sometimes, they share the same house as their parents and siblings. In Western culture, after teenagers graduate high school, they're encouraged to "move out of the nest." As a result, many parents in America end up being empty nesters.
True, but that doesn't tell me 'why.' I mean, what's so "independent" about NOT using a resource that (by the grace of your parents, patterned-after the grace of God) is freely available to you? Maybe it's parent's usual "as long as you're under my roof, you'll abide by my rules"-policy, which a) is only 'slavery' if a certain rule hampers one's free living (though parents' rules are most-often rules that one should live-by no matter who they live-with) and b) are only broken if you get caught!
I guess whatever works, works. For me, I just couldn't comprehend moving back in. Regardless of the financial situation (and thankfully I've always managed to afford to move out), it was about life experiences and freedom that I wanted. In some cultures it's natural for individuals to live with their family until marriage, which is fine. It's just never been right for me.
Most people move away from their parents because they believe "they are ready to face the world on their own." But they soon find out that they weren't that prepared for . . . that. It's a fact though that unless one moves out even for a little while, their parents will treat them as "their little kid." IMO, if your parents house is large enough to accommodate you all, there's nothing wrong with moving back in. In fact it's getting to be quite a trend.
Why is that? I mean, why can't parents just kind of 'evolve' their children into "roommates" (which is what my-mom-whom-I-live-with calls me). I can guess at a couple reasons. First of all, there's the dependence-factor; if the children aren't 'being their parents' babies,' then they're probably more like "lazy-bum mooching slackers." (And---well, I know I'd rather be the parent of the former than the latter!) Another reason is the fact that a parent ALWAYS considers the child 'their little kid.' It's just that 'their little kid' is more-accomplished after that experience---just like when they-come back from war, -graduate college, -get a job, -get a promotion, -get married, -have children, etc.
I'm a single mother and my daughter is welcome to live with me as long as she wants. Not only are we best friends who get along really well, but it makes financial sense for her to live with me while she goes to college. She's not in a hurry to live on her own because we're a compatible family and like all the same music and shows, so it's easy for us to share a space without annoying each other.
Same here. It boggles the mind how many people want their kids to go as soon as they become "adults" and if they stay, they get even more dictator on them and demand money when the child should be saving as much as they can for a better start at life on their own. My kids can stay forever and I'm sure they'd insist on helping out, but whatever. The point is getting our kids ready.. defeats the purpose to push them out.
I moved out of my parental home when I was 16. It was a house of horror for me, filled with brutality and alcohol abuse. I never went back. Actually, I moved to another continent and never had an inclination to see the place again where I grew up. There are many different ways of dealing with a sudden change of personal circumstances, such as share houses, like-minded community housing, camping in a safe environment, etc. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to return to their parent's home when things get rough.
Sounds almost-Biblical (like when The Prodigal Son & his brother were living with their father all their lives, as I imagine was common for "landed gentry" (well-off land-owners?)) You could say that you were never really part of a 'home' before you found your place elsewhere. Glory to Our Father
Moving away from your parents when you are financially stable is not abnormal in any sense. It's natural, when organisms grow they seek other territories to live in. Especially territories with abundant resources. Moving away from your parents shows that you are financially, socially, and physically independent. Just the natural course of things.
It really depends on the parents, I think. When you grow up you naturally rebel against their values and way of life as a way to be independent and distance yourself from them, at least this was my experience. Another reason is if you're living with parents that won't accept any deviations from their rules, this was the case in my upbringing, the sooner the children moved out, the sooner we could start living our own life.
Yup, exactly. I was terrified to have kids because I believed that all teens rebel and it would just lead to their downfall lol. It isn't true. You're right, it depends on the parents entirely. If you raise your children with respect, they will respect you and want to do things right. They'll slow down and enjoy their time as kids and living care free in your home. They know a "big bad world" awaits and their time with you is time to prepare and relax and do the things kids do to get ready. I rebelled. I could have stayed and prepared for a better start on my own, but it wouldn't have happened that way regardless.. my teen years were focussing on how frustrating my home life was and how to get out my anger in self destructive ways. I didn't have the best choices at the time lol.
This sounds exactly like my upbringing. Feeling trapped and not waiting to get out of the house, rebelling and thinking everything would be better on my own. It wasn't until I moved out and got some space between my parents and I that our relationship improved. I guess you don't know what you got till it's gone, or at least until you have some space.
I'm from Hawaii where living with family is a cultural norm. When I moved out of state at the age of 18, my mother moved in with my cousin, aunt and uncle. When my grandmothers last child left her, she moved from Japan to Hawaii to stay with my aunt and uncle as well. My mother and grandmother both have homes and choose to live with family. For myself I am so independent I am just accustomed to living alone. When I first moved to New Mexico I lived with my sister for about 8 months or so and had to find my own place. Eventually when my mother gets older, I would love for her to move in with me so I can take care of her. Right now I am working towards that goal.
Things are simply different than they were before. At least in my city in Australia housing and rent prices are so high that a lot of people of my generation don't expect to ever be able to own their own home. Due to that a lot more people my age seem to be living at home and now its a norm due to economic circumstances, not cultural.
