Why Are Fathers Always Harsh And Mean?

Discussion in Off Topic Discussion & General Questions started by mildredtabitha • Sep 7, 2017.

  1. mildredtabitha

    mildredtabithaActive Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2017
    Threads:
    53
    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    81
    It is so unfortunate when chilldren grow up fearing their parents and worst of all their father. When the man is so harsh at home, children will never learn to respect him. Children will see the mother fearing him too.

    Why are fathers always harsh? They make us see them as bad people. :(
     
  2. nangk08

    nangk08Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2016
    Threads:
    3
    Messages:
    305
    Likes Received:
    82
    @mildred, is this from your own experience? If it is so, then I am really sorry for you because not all fathers are like that. I agree that traditionally, most fathers were conditioned to be aloof and distant from their kids, not interacting and not taking much interest in what was going on with their lives, with exceptions of course. But that was in the past. Now with changing times, men are becoming more and more involved in parenting and are actively taking so much interest in their kids' upbringing and showering all their love on them. Exceptions are present here too. There was and will be, some people who are abusive and closed to their children. But not all fathers are harsh as a rule.
     
  3. Kiama

    KiamaMember

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2017
    Threads:
    11
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    13
    Not all fathers are harsh and mean @Mildred. Actually in my own experience, fathers are the most soft spoken in a family especially with their daughters.
     
  4. sommax

    sommaxMember

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2017
    Threads:
    2
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    10
    Funny.

    Fathers are harsh and mean because of so many reasons. First, they are the better disciplinarian. Mothers are so softy, and whenever I do something wrong, she always has this reservations when correcting me. But not so with my dad, he is all harsh and bossy. I know I could always got away with my mum, but not with dad. So whenever am about to do something wrong, I always has a rethink.
     
  5. Nakitakona

    NakitakonaActive Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2016
    Threads:
    22
    Messages:
    897
    Likes Received:
    153
    In my case my father is doing things which in our limited knowledge couldn't understand them especially in being harsh and mean to us as his children. We usually misunderstood him. Now I have my children to support and rear them up. I understand why my father is doing that to us as a strict disciplinarian. No parents or father to leave their children not being disciplined when they're not behaving, hardheaded or recalcitrant. As what the Bible said, "spare the rod and spoil the child."
     
  6. harijobs

    harijobsActive Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2016
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    360
    Likes Received:
    44
    I am sorry if your father is being harsh to you. My father is also strict and sometimes harsh just because he loves me so much that he couldn't see me suffering from my reluctant decision. But otherwise, he is a good man. Sadly in my home, my mom is my ultimate controller and she dominates us all. Even my father is afraid of my mother and never goes against her word and what she decides is final and sometimes she takes a decision on her own not bothering about me and my brother's opinion. That is her tendency but deep down I know she loves us a lot. :)
    So don't worry my friend. Talk to him and make him understand. :) Good luck. :)
     
  7. Haroon Rasheed

    Haroon RasheedMember

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2017
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    8
    @Mildred I was not expecting such kind of post from you.I don't believe that fathers are harsh and mean.They show their anger just for the bright future of children.I think so that it is a good thing to grow children with having such kind of attitude.Fathers are always very friendly and closer to their children.
     
  8. NinetyEighty1

    NinetyEighty1Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2017
    Threads:
    95
    Messages:
    478
    Likes Received:
    84
    This is usually due to the fact that they believe in the whole "tough love" philosophy and were raised in pretty tough environments when growing up. So, they try to toughen up their own kids a bit now and again, though some might go too far at times.
     
  9. TheOtherSide

    TheOtherSideActive Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2017
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    192
    Likes Received:
    30
    Fathers are very caring and soft hearted too. They are just not very showy and prefer to be harsh at times but it doesn't mean that they are bad and all. When I was young, I remember my father always punish us whenever we commit a wrong doing and so I learn to fear him and never want to make a mess. At present, I'm glad my father disciplined us that way, cause if he did show a softer side of him it could have been different.
     
  10. Barida

    BaridaActive Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2017
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    217
    Likes Received:
    50
    I do not subscribe to the idea that all fathers are harsh, but I understand that many fathers have got that attitude of being harsh to their children, or should I say trying to be strict on their kids as a means of showing them the necessary training they need in life. I think it is the role of the father in the house to be firm in taking decisions as well as ensuring that the kids obey all the instructions that help in running a smooth home.

    While mothers should be more caring than the fathers, it does not mean that those attitudes by the fathers should be tagged as being harsh on the kids
     
  11. Keibah

    KeibahActive Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2017
    Threads:
    3
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    14
    @Mildred, not all fathers are harsh. Some could be really caring and soft. Others could be mean on the outside but have deep love while others are mean both in and out that you begin to really wonder.

    I'm sorry if that's the case with you. Don't let it affect your spirit. Keep your hope alive and verily there will come a day.
     
  12. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66Active Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2017
    Threads:
    71
    Messages:
    601
    Likes Received:
    156
    My father could be strict but I think that was because I wasn't always very well behaved. There were times when he was mean but also times when he was kind. He was just a human being with faults like the rest of us. He is dead now but I would love to talk to him one last time.
     
  13. mdbree17

    mdbree17Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2017
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    11
    I would never know if my father will be harsh on me or not. I've been longing for a father's love. Though I know in my heart he's protective of her princess. My mom once told me that my father got mad when he saw a man holding me when I was a baby. He died when I was just a year old. I will never know. Maybe, just maybe if he's alive still.
     
  14. explorerx7

    explorerx7Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2016
    Threads:
    59
    Messages:
    768
    Likes Received:
    117
    It's not a fair statement which seems to state that all fathers are men. It may be true that some are but there are many that are kind and loving. I have met many persons that have indicated that it was their mother and not their father who was the disciplinarian in their home. There are mean fathers and mean mothers, however, the fathers would be mostly at the forefront in this aspect, but in spite of this, it would have to boil down to individual behaviour.
     
  15. tallulah

    tallulahActive Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2017
    Threads:
    8
    Messages:
    275
    Likes Received:
    54
    I understand where Mildred is coming from. People may not want to admit this, but most African fathers are very strict. They are taught and brought up in a way that says man has to be firm in order to be a man. And I am not saying this because my father was mean or harsh. It is quite the opposite. I have one of the most gentle and loving fathers any one could ever have. My mother on the other hand is the disciplinarian in our home. But this is not the case in a lot of homes in Africa.
     
  16. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66Active Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2017
    Threads:
    71
    Messages:
    601
    Likes Received:
    156
    @mildredtabitha@mildredtabitha You may have been unlucky with your father being so strict because I was never scared of my dad even when I thought he was being unfair. In fact sometimes when I look back I realise that he was just trying to keep me safe but I couldn't see it at the time. I thought he was just trying to spoil my fun.

    However, some fathers are too strict and I hope that yours isn't making you fearful of him. It was only when I left home that I could see mine wasn't as bad as I imagined when I lived with him.
     
  17. kamai

    kamaiActive Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2016
    Threads:
    12
    Messages:
    868
    Likes Received:
    175
    In my case it was different my mother was the deciplinary parent while my dad was the softy. In many cases where I have seen the father being harsh the kids usually can't wait to grow up and leave their home or they just leave even if they're kids. Fathers think they have to be harsh so the household with be nicely put together but they are very wrong. If the family does what the father wants it's because they fear them. Many fathers think if they don't wear the pants in the house they are failures and their ego drop.